---Believe to the Saving of the Soul

²²Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.

²³Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)

²⁴And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:

²⁵Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

²⁶For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,

²⁷But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.

²⁸He that despised Moses' law died without mercy under two or three witnesses:

²⁹Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace?

³⁰For we know him that hath said, Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people.

³¹It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

³²But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions;

³³Partly, whilst ye were made a gazingstock both by reproaches and afflictions; and partly, whilst ye became companions of them that were so used.

³⁴For ye had compassion of me in my bonds, and took joyfully the spoiling of your goods, knowing in yourselves that ye have in heaven a better and an enduring substance.

³⁵Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.

³⁶For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.

³⁷For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry.

³⁸Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him.

³⁹But we are not of them who draw back unto perdition; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul.

Sometimes we talk about backsliding like its a normal thing. Like it's something that we just do and will do again. God who is rich in mercy and love does remember our frame. Still, He commands and calls us to be holy like unto Him; to be perfect, and walk before Him.
We aren't of this world anymore. No it wont it doesn't always scream to the world that I am a called out Christian, to my shame; but it sure doesn't mean that my God doesn't want me on my knees asking for Him, and asking for His presence in my life. To kneel before Him pleading for His love, for His faith, and for His spirit; for His right hand upholding me and directing my every way, before in this world I start each day.

Because: I'm not sure why. (:

Proverbs 15

¹A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

²The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.

³The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.

⁴A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.

⁵A fool despiseth his father's instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.

⁶In the house of the righteous is much treasure: but in the revenues of the wicked is trouble.

⁷The lips of the wise disperse knowledge: but the heart of the foolish doeth not so.

⁸The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright is his delight.

⁹The way of the wicked is an abomination unto the LORD: but he loveth him that followeth after righteousness.

¹⁰Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die.

¹¹Hell and destruction are before the LORD: how much more then the hearts of the children of men?

¹²A scorner loveth not one that reproveth him: neither will he go unto the wise.

¹³A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

¹⁴The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge: but the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness.

¹⁵All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.

¹⁶Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith.

¹⁷Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.

¹⁸A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.

¹⁹The way of the slothful man is as an hedge of thorns: but the way of the righteous is made plain.

²⁰A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother.

²¹Folly is joy to him that is destitute of wisdom: but a man of understanding walketh uprightly.

²²Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.

²³A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!

²⁴The way of life is above to the wise, that he may depart from hell beneath.

²⁵The LORD will destroy the house of the proud: but he will establish the border of the widow.

²⁶The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD: but the words of the pure are pleasant words.

²⁷He that is greedy of gain troubleth his own house; but he that hateth gifts shall live.

²⁸The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.

²⁹The LORD is far from the wicked: but he heareth the prayer of the righteous.

³⁰The light of the eyes rejoiceth the heart: and a good report maketh the bones fat.

³¹The ear that heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise.

³²He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.

³³The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility.

In Him I'll Hide(:

First of all, I just want to say how amazing my Lord is. The ways He sweetly speaks to my heart constantly overwhelm me. It's too much too understand or conceive even a small portion of His great love for me and you.
I hide behind a lot of things. I hide behind my family, my friends, my goals... most often my school, and I always hide behind my sarcasm.
There is nothing that I can hide behind when it comes to Him. He sees me. He knows my fears. When no one sees the tears I blink back, He keeps them. And today I couldn't hide behind anything anymore. I found failure upon failure and mistake after mistake, crowded and mixed up with the fears I try to deny and subdue about the future. I was thinking about how Jesus Christ, My Savior, can answer a lost person's every need. And when my friends would come to me and ask for advice or want to talk... it's hard not to point them in the direction of the One who can heal their every pain. How come sometimes I who am saved don't live like that? Like He IS the answer to my every problem?
I sat down down at the piano and not even thinking about what I was playing, I just started to play.

The Lord’s our Rock, in Him we hide,
A Shelter in the time of storm;
Secure whatever ill betide,
A Shelter in the time of storm.

A shade by day, defense by night,
A Shelter in the time of storm;
No fears alarm, no foes afright,
A Shelter in the time of storm.

The raging storms may round us beat,
A Shelter in the time of storm
We’ll never leave our safe retreat,
A Shelter in the time of storm.

O Rock divine, O Refuge dear,
A Shelter in the time of storm;
Be Thou our Helper ever near,
A Shelter in the time of storm.

I started to try to sing it, and I can tell you right now it wasn't happening. Secondly, I want to say I'm so thankful for godly friends. God uses each and everyone of you for His glory and honor if you are only willing to be used. Andrew's post broke my heart all over again... He is the Rock of our salvation, He is the great God, He is the LORD God, our very own maker.
Tori's recent blog verses along the very same lines:

"My meditation of Him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the LORD." Psalm 104:34

"Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. For Thou hast been a shelter for me, and a tower from the enemy." Psalm 61:1-3

"Then they shall cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and He bringeth them out of their distresses. He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.... O that men would praise the LORD for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men!" Psalm 107:28-29,31

Thanks for the encouragement of God's Word.
We couldn't be saved, sheltered, or hid by any greater love.

He Is Able

"I Know"

Where do I begin with what to say I've played this conversation in my head so many times I'm
certainly not claiming to know everything but what i do will save your life.
I know that God is able. I know that He still reigns. I know that love
has found a way.
No matter what it is you're going through even if you think you're far beyond where hope can
see i know there is a hand that's reaching out for you because He did the same for me.
it wasn't that long ago when my own world fell apart, it fell apart and everything here inside
of me said to let go, you must let go I found my self crying out to the One who knows my heart,
He knows your heart and holding tight to the few things that I know.

"I Know Whom I Have Believed" (practicing this on the piano all day... think I'm getting it down... fiiinally) (:

1. I know not why God’s wondrous grace
   To me He hath made known,
   Nor why, unworthy, Christ in love
   Redeemed me for His own.
   • Refrain:
     But “I know Whom I have believed,
     And am persuaded that He is able
     To keep that which I’ve committed
     Unto Him against that day.”
2. I know not how this saving faith
   To me He did impart,
   Nor how believing in His Word
   Wrought peace within my heart.
3. I know not how the Spirit moves,
   Convincing men of sin,
   Revealing Jesus through the Word,
   Creating faith in Him.
4. I know not what of good or ill
   May be reserved for me,
   Of weary ways or golden days,
   Before His face I see.
5. I know not when my Lord may come,
   At night or noonday fair,
   Nor if I walk the vale with Him,
   Or meet Him in the air.

2 Timothy 1:11-13

Whereunto I am appointed a preacher, and an apostle, and a teacher of the Gentiles.

For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.

Hold fast the form of sound words, which thou hast heard of me, in faith and love which is in Christ Jesus.

Greater is He

Ecclesiastes 4
⁶Better is an handful with quietness, than both the hands full with travail and vexation of spirit.
Ecclesiastes 5
¹Keep thy foot when thou goest to the house of God, and be more ready to hear, than to give the sacrifice of fools: for they consider not that they do evil. ²Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few. ³For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool's voice is known by multitude of words.

Ecclesiastes 7
²It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart. ³Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.

Ecclesiastes has always been one of my favorite books of the bible; but I never understand those last two verses until this past year. I knew it had to be right, because the bible is true... but how could sadness really be better that laughter and joy?

The most meaningful and most memorable times in my life have not been the good times. They have not been the times when I was surrounded by family and friends. I sure do have those good memories, but the memories I have that have had the most impact on me were the times that I was tore up about something. The times when I have wept and prayed with friends. When My heart was literately failing me, when it physically hurt, when I cried out to my God.

It is through pain and sorrow we "lay it to our hearts." We remember the serious things of life. We remember who we are and why we are here. Our hearts are "made better" when things in life hurt us and draw us back to the One who frees us from our pain and loves us without limit or restriction. Those are the memories, those are the late nights that are planted so deep in my heart I wont be able to forget. We are a peculiar people, called with a high calling. What a privilege to serve One who's understanding is "infinite."

I read 1 Peter 2, and if you get the chance read the whole chapter. It really spoke to my heart in following God's will and having Him direct my steps. It's not so much where I work, what I do, where I go, as it is that I follow the example that Christ left behind. It's not a matter of knowing God's will, but doing it.

¹¹Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;

¹²Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.

¹⁵For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men:

²¹For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

²²Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:

²³Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

²⁴Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

1 Peter 3

...If any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; ²While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.³Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;⁴But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

What all these verses seem to have in common is the "quietness." Which don't you know is my best attribute. (:

God's in the fixing business though, and He's is a lot stronger than me.

Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.1 John 4:4

On a scale of 1 to 10; it's an 8(:

Commitment takes on a whole new meaning when it’s for a cause tied to your own heart. It's when it's attached to who you are as a person that you can’t cut its connection to your soul.

Yesterday I was ready to rent an apartment. I was ready to call a halting stop to the idea of moving home. My mom is an amazing person, an extremely hard worker. Always has been and she’s too real to change. But yesterday I was really hit with constant reminder’s of how exactly opposite I am of my Dad, in almost every single way. I love my Dad and he is clever and wise about dealing with people and but our personalities could not be more different. His way of life is extremely different than the way I lead my own. On a scale of 1 to 10, out of all the difficult things I’ve done in my life, for me, dealing with him when I am home in a loving and respectful way is going to be a solid 8. I was ready to start considering some other serious options as opposed to moving back home. BUT, I have thought about this, and I have prayed about this. The answer of what I should do was clear. I needed to be home... I got to thinking I would just go home and visit the girls a lot next semester, instead of wrecking the good relationship I have with my Dad.
I was amazed at how I had gotten so, so angry and frustrated by the end of the day I couldn’t believe it. I went to church last night for evening services and the lesson was really good, on thankfulness; really good message. Then like most years, we one by one talked about what we were especially thankful for this year. When Deanna started listing what she was thankful for, her eyes filled up with tears and she could hardly speak for a minute. “I am so thankful for my sisters… for Emily,” she trembled. “And I’m so happy that she’s going to be moving back home again. She means a lot to me and it’ll be so good to have her back around.” Sitting directly behind her, I saw the tears as they ran down the front of her cheeks and didn't stop.

Pretty sure, pretty sure that ends all debate. All discussion. Any excuses. The Devil seems to want to get ahold of this situation and it scares me because I know he is out there, and he is real. And he desires to stir our hearts and desires to be the opposite of what God would have.
I’m scared of my example. There isn’t a day that I can be selfish in that home. There just isn’t room for it. There isn’t a day in which I need to put myself first, or a day where I can argue with my Dad and in doing so be disrespectful. For some reason I have it in my head that when I am right it is okay to prove it. And that’s not it. Even if I am right about a lot of things my Dad and I disagree on, it is not my responsibility or right to correct him. It reminds my of something my boss, grandpa, said to me last summer. “It’s not always necessary to prove to others you are right Emmie Kae, it’s only necessary to be right.”

So I am committed to making this work, no matter how hard or difficult it gets. It's where I need to be. For my God, first and foremost, and for my little sisters.
Prayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy for me please.
Still waiting to hear back on the different jobs I've applied for, so please keep those in your prayers as well. As my 2nd Mom told me today, "God is good. And as long as you rely on Him you will come out okay." He has always been really good to me. He always does provide. Just waiting and excited to see what He has planned for me next.

3AM

3. Three means completion. I'm pretty sure 7 means perfection. 40 represents sin and wandering. 21 is the legal American age to drink. at 16 you can start driving. I like numbers. and their meanings. I still tend to close my eyes and wish at 11:11, just because. 13 used to drive me crazy when I was younger. I was sure it was the worst number in the world. I've finally kind of gotten over that. It's proved to be lucky, or, at least not so bad a few times(:

I've been awake since 3, just couldn't seem to sleep even though I was really tired. I was too lazy to try to read. And too tired to be spiritually minded so I just laid there. Rolled... more less, flopped off the bed onto the floor with my huuuge blanket close to suffocating me.

Finally thought of some verses I liked. Got on my knees and started to pray. Why is it so hard to pray sometimes? It's like asking God why He even loves me? The reasoning is unfathomable. I prayed, and told God I don't know why I'm in the state I am, and He heard. He forgave me. God is always so good to me. Read the devotion too, it went right along the same lines. God always seems to work like that.

Matthew 7:7-11
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

The battle is always going to be there. No matter what we promise or strive to do, we are still "us." Human as they come. But we serve a God who like in the verses I had up earlier, Psalm 103, He REMEMBERS our frame... He remembers we are just dust.

⁸The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.

⁹He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever.

¹⁰He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

¹¹For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.

¹²As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

¹³Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.

¹⁴For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.

IN THE MEANTIME... I will be here at Lou's working again for Joanna today. I am looking forward to Thanksgiving. I miss Brian and Michelle. It will be good to have them back and here in time for dinner. I want to hear all their stories. Hopefully the roads wont be toooooo scary... because either Brian or my Dad will be picking me up I'm sure. Thanksgiving without meeeeeeeee! ): That'd be horrible. Okay, maybe not the end of the world, but Aubree Dae would cry, and nobody wants that. (:

here's something.

Going through my emails today, and I found this one that I wrote to someone whilst discussing/arguing whether or not I could know God's will for my life.

"I wait, only to see what God does. I did choose. I sacrificed what I wanted for what He commands... because it came down to whether I trusted Him or not. If I really believe, He is in fact the God of the universe, that does love me, than I should be able to trust Him with my all. Doing what I want and crossing my fingers for Him to bless me for it, isn't how God works. Sometimes certain situations I can't understand and doesn't make sense to me and sometimes its hard to do what the bible says. I want to use my own ideas and my own logic, but in the end of every situation He knows. His wisdom far exceeds mine. He made me and knows me better than anyone else. He loves me more than you or anyone else does. He is the only one who will always be there for me, and has been since the day I first trusted Him 8 years ago. When there is no one I feel like I can trust anymore, I know I can trust Him because He is always faithful to me. When I didn't have the money for college, I prayed and He provided. I asked Him to help me when I was sick and he saved my life when the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. I prayed for him to work on your heart, and He did. Because I am not just my own anymore, I became His, when I trusted Him with my life. Its all or nothing. I have to take the steps, but don't think for a minute He doesn't guide my feet."

"The steps of the good man are ordered by the LORD"

Psalm 103

¹Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.

²Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

³Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;

⁴Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

⁵Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.

⁶The LORD executeth righteousness and judgment for all that are oppressed.

⁷He made known his ways unto Moses, his acts unto the children of Israel.

⁸The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.

⁹He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever.

¹⁰He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

¹¹For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.

¹²As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

¹³Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.

¹⁴For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.

¹⁵As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth.

¹⁶For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more.

¹⁷But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children;

¹⁸To such as keep his covenant, and to those that remember his commandments to do them.

¹⁹The LORD hath prepared his throne in the heavens; and his kingdom ruleth over all.

²⁰Bless the LORD, ye his angels, that excel in strength, that do his commandments, hearkening unto the voice of his word.

²¹Bless ye the LORD, all ye his hosts; ye ministers of his, that do his pleasure.

²²Bless the LORD, all his works in all places of his dominion: bless the LORD, O my soul.

directions

Lord, you know what I need and want already. I'm willing to wait. I just need my eyes and hands focused in a clear direction. On an area of service. And I think the answer is obvious, Your church. That's where You're love is. Your name is glorified there. I just need specific ways to be of help and a heart that's dedicated and focused to putting You and the church first in my life.

Talked to Lou about character qualities I should be looking for in a guy. The thought process started when Jason dropped me off last Thursday from church. He said that he wanted a list of “must have’s” and “preferences” if you will. When I asked Lou what was most important she said, “someone who lets the other guy talk before he starts in.” I can think of the guys that I’ve been interested in so far… and I’m pretty sure none of them had that quality. She asked me what I thought, and the only thing I could think of was honesty. I know it kind of goes without saying, but after Friday, that’s all I could think about, honesty. I asked her what another good one would be and she said a lack of selfishness. Never heard it quite worded like that before. It’s a good way to word it I believe… because everyone is selfish. She asked me what I thought again, and I said someone who really cares… and she finished, about his neighbor. Good finish, and that’s as far as we got.

Tim McGraw’s “my best friend” is one of my favorite songs; used to think of Shannon when I heard it, or my Grandpa. Can’t wait until it reminds me of "him." Somehow I always feel connected to people… guys in general, or one specifically, even if I don’t actually like them, but a lot of times when I do, simply because there is no other one to connect with or imagine myself with. Maybe it’s a girl thing, I’m not sure. But I haven’t felt like “just me” in quite a while. Yesterday, lying on my bed, thinking about it. For the first time in over a year, I felt like just me. No connections. Anywhere.

Moving to Hawaii for a school semester is starting to become a serious option. Next spring is too soon I think. Next fall might be just about perfect. I miss the Clark's. I don’t know where I’m supposed to be or what I’m suppose to do. I feel like I should be hanging around my girls. I think I need to be more involved in their lives… why let the world shape them more than I get to? Plus, I just miss them like crazy. I’ll be glad to get out of here and start something new. I’ll miss Lou a lot… but I think it’s time for home.

It’s really foggy today, the roads are horribly icy. Yesterday, Wyatt rescued me from home and took me out to see a movie and eat Mexican food (upon my request) and severe persuasion that he did indeed miss me more than he enjoyed playing COD. Haha(: Caleb was helping (kind of, not really lol) me with some verses to memorize due to my “lost and wandering” state. Here’s a few that I picked.

2 Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Anddd Psalm 119:169-176

Let my cry come near before thee, O LORD: give me understanding according to thy word.

Let my supplication come before thee: deliver me according to thy word.

My lips shall utter praise, when thou hast taught me thy statutes.

My tongue shall speak of thy word: for all thy commandments are righteousness.

Let thine hand help me; for I have chosen thy precepts.

I have longed for thy salvation, O LORD; and thy law is my delight.

Let my soul live, and it shall praise thee; and let thy judgments help me.

I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant; for I do not forget thy commandments.

Lastly! Psalm 37:23-34 (My favorite)

The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.

Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

Well. Still stuck inside due to the wet rain making roads super slick. It isn’t so bad being stuck in here. I’ll get back to my youtube ninja videos now. Hahah(:

OH, and P.S, one more thing. I'm always joking around about being "directionally challenged," well... Lord, I feel it now more than ever.