STUDY JESUS Like You Study For College

These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.
-Acts 17:11
I came to a point last week where I was, as you would say, at my wits end. I'd HAD it. I was done! I was giving up, failing miserably at finding my God. Where was He in my life? I couldn't see Him working. I wasn't doing anything actively for Him really. I had no peace. I was not happy. Days dragged on. I was MISERABLLLE with no particular reason why...
Let me just say right now, it's AMAZING what crying out to the LORD in sheer desperation can do. It's a miracle what praying can do. It is a miracle what the bible can do on a daily basis in your life.

Somewhere deep inside me I have a desperate need to learn more about God. To be closer to Him, to "be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear"
-I Peter 3:15
Maybe I could find my answers at bible college. I've prayed off and on about going, but this last week I specifically prayed night and day for the Lord to guide me and show me clearly that this was exactly where HE wanted me to be. He didn't. He doesn't want me there... You want to know why? (:
Because ONE, HE is the Greatest Teacher.
"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
-Matthew 11:29
And TWO, because He had a greater lesson for me to learn here.
Let me explain-
Tonight I was invited to a movie, and I ended up having a conversation with Shannon about her driving to North Pole to get a college book from a friend to study, leaving it there because he needed to finish his homework as she drove back into town, to to have to turn right back around after the movie to pick it up again and finish her homework. It was already 9pm, and the movie was who knows how long(: It was going to be a late night. It got me to thinking about the last two or three now, years of up-all-nighters. Coffee and english papers. Getting in the online homework 2minutes before midnight. All that jazz. I even rememebered the time I ran through every campus building to get to my class to turn in an essay in which the paper was still warm when I handed it to him (with a smirk) from being just freshly printed.
What does this have to do with seeking the Lord's will for my life? Seek to study Jesus like you do your college, Emily.
I know God is everywhere, and I know I can serve Him anywhere- but I need to be disciplined enough to sit down and read my bible everyday... and I'm not!! Bible college would be hours and hours a week devoted to serving Him and I would be constantly encouraged to read. That is exactly what I need Lord! No. What I need is to read. What I need is a GOD-GIVEN DESIRE and LOVE for Christ that gives me a "want to." Not a HAVE to. Not the safe playing field where I go to hear and to listen (which is very important obviously) but a place where HEARING and DOING are one in the same.
"But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was."
-James 1:22-24

I don't want to go to a bible college for a year, see myself make some changes, and FORGET what I look like.
The fact of the matter is, if I can't serve God here... I can't serve God ANYWHERE.

So tonight, what I am doing is acting like I'm in college. Even though I've take this semester off, I am actually AT UAF, in the library, studying James, because that is what we are studying as a church.
Again, Acts 17:11 says, "These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so."
And yes, it's 10pm. I scratched the movie. After all, I'm studying. And yes, I still have to be up for work at 4am, and yes, I still have to drive all the way home, and no, I'm not going to get a lot of sleep. But you know something? If I had a Microbiology test tomorrow, it wouldn't matter. In fact, I would prabably be here all night long. How convicting is that?

REALLY QUICK NOW. I've thought about what's important when you're in college.
1st and foremost, it's prrrobably to simply show up. Be in class. Well, 1st and foremost, be in church.
-Hebrews 10:25
2ndly, Read your textbook! Yep, that's right. God's Word. And I'm the WORST at reading my textbook.
-Psalm 119:105 Really awesome verse. The Word is enlighting! (: Especially when we don't know where to place our feet.
At the end of your textbook chapters there is always those good ole' "personal application" questions (that I never answer)- well, answer them. Apply scriptures to your life like they are your own. They are yours when you do.
Memorize for the tests. Psalm 119:11
Do your homework.
What is the bible commanding of you today? And asking yourself how can you fufill that in your life today? John 14:15
Talk to your Teacher.
Yes,,, prayer. What a great gift of God. Psalm 62:8
Consider the reward.
- I LOVE getting an A on a test more than I love coffee. That's HUGE!!
Genesis 15:1
Luke 6:35
Consider the cost.
Tution is going up AGAIN. It has already risen by what, 10 percent? 20?? College is getting super expensive in a world where our dollars are getting fewer. Have you counted the cost? Luke 14:28-33
What about Jesus Christ's cost? Acts 11:17
(Who are you, by the way, that you can withstand God?)

I'm going to take His yoke upon me and learn of Him. Where He leads I am fully intendent on going, but I will only take a step when His hand is moving me.
Thanks for the comments, I love to hear from you- and those of you that read my blog and don't have one of your own (Michelle) *cough*cough*hack* you should strongly consider getting one. Love you all!

Em

PROVERBS 15:28
The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.

Lets Run

Hebrews 12
1Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

2Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

3For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.


Why I would I spend my life longing for the day that it would end?
Why would I spend my time pointing to another man?
Isn't that crazy

How can I find hope in dying, with promises unseen?
How can I learn your way is better,
In everything I'm taught to be?

I have not been called to the wisdom of this world,
But to a God who's calling out to me.
And even though the world may think
I'm losing touch with reality,
It would be crazy
To choose this world over eternity.

And if I boast let me boast
Of filthy rags made clean
And if I glory let me glory
In my Savior's suffering

And as I live this daily life
I trust you for everything
And I will only take a step
When I feel You leading me

What Have You Lost Recently?

Yes, I am asking you. For some reason blog posts for me is a way to work out my problems on paper. A way to study, talk to myself, and being honest with myself using the mirror of God's Word. Maybe someone out there will be able to relate with where I'm at right now. Though I know this is so much more to myself than you. Even still My God never ceases to use His written Word.
Although, no one has asked me the "what have you lost recently" question,
who I've lost and what I've lost has been on my mind.

"I don't know who I am anymore." Have you ever heard that statement? It sure is a sad statement, but an even worse feeling.

Have you lost who you are?

"I'm so lost without you, that I can't find myself." Have you heard that sad, pretty country song? It's heart wrenching, because often we define who we are by how our loved ones view us. And when, they don't love us anymore... or when they are ripped from our lives, it has a tendency to make us feel less than worthless if that's possible.
Have you lost a close relationship? Does it wear on you even today, though it may have happened a year or two ago? That person, who meant everything to you...

"I don't know who I am
Staring at a million broken pieces here
I don't know where I stand
While I'm still, the world goes round so free so cavalier
Aimlessly I wander, like a drifter
on a narrow winding road
I've got plenty of direction but I don't know where to go

I'm so lost without you
I'm so lost without you
Baby, I'm so lost without you
That I can't find myself

No it don't seem right this canyon of lonely lying in our bed
Lord how I've cried a waterfall of tears until my eyes turn red
Ever since you left me it's been like a bullet through my heart
And I know I should move on, but I don't know where to start"

While I had been trying to gather my thoughts this week on how to blog what's been on my heart, I remembered the old story of Job. [Pronounced ("Joe"-buh) for those who are wondering why I'm going to start talking about a job.]
He was a great man, very successful in his life. I can imagine he knew who he was. And... he lost everything in one day. We talk about how someone means everything to us, or this position means everything to us, but literately... He lost EVERYTHING. His home, his children, his living, his business, and on and on.

What did he do? What are YOU suppose to do? You know what you've lost, and I know that it meant everything to you. You've probably wondered how you can turn back time, how you can move on, how to go forward... what can you do?



Job 1:20

Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped,



Well, that seemed easy enough for him, but I have cut my hair short enough recently thank you very much, and besides it wouldn't look good if I started ripping things off. People would start thinking I was having a Brittany Spears moment, and this is suppose to be biblical?!
Then I started to use my dictionary. Never dreamed a dictionary would make me cry. I looked up "arose."

AROSE
1. to get up from sitting, lying, or kneeling; rise:
2. to awaken; wake up:
3. to move upward; mount; ascend:
4. to come into being, action, or notice; originate; appear; spring up:
5. to result or proceed; spring or issue

Sometimes proceeding and moving forward, take a deep breath, requires action. Commonly known as getting up and doing something, anything. And how's this for a change, different. Do. Something. Different. Get up, number one, and prepare your mind and heart to do something different; what you are doing now isn't working, wasn't working, and will not continue to work. You have two choices. Stay here, in this spot of confusion and loneliness. Or decide now, that you are going to change what you are doing, whatever it is... or is not. Arise. Spring into action. Come into being.

Then there's "rent his mantle"

RENT- past tense of "rend."
rend 
1. to separate into parts with force or violence:
2. to tear apart, split, or divide:
3. to pull or tear violently (often followed by away, off, up, etc.).
4. to tear (one's garments or hair) in grief, rage, etc.
5. to disturb (the air) sharply with loud noise.
6. to harrow or distress (the heart) with painful feelings.

Ouch. This sounds a little less than exciting. I already hurt. I'm not going to do something that with make me hurt more.
Well.. don't decide that just yet. It will come with a comparably small sacrifice.

What in the world is a mantle, you're asking.

MANTLE
1. a loose, sleeveless cloak or cape.
2. something that covers, envelops, or conceals:

What are you hiding behind? Or maybe I need to ask, what are you concealing so tightly that no one, not even your closest friends and family members knows? Open up. Rip it to pieces and show yourself to Jesus. Everything is made manifest in His sight anyways.

Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped,

SHAVED
to remove a growth of beard with a razor.
verb (used with object)
2. to remove hair from (the face, legs, etc.) by cutting it off close to the skin with a razor.
3. to cut off (hair, especially the beard) close to the skin with a razor (often followed by off or away ).
4. to cut or scrape away the surface of with a sharp-edged tool:

HEAD
1. the upper part of the body in humans, joined to the trunk by the neck, containing the brain, eyes, ears, nose, and mouth.
2. the corresponding part of the body in other animals.
3. the head considered as the center of the intellect, as of thought, memory, understanding, or emotional control; mind; brain:
4. the position or place of leadership, greatest authority, or honor.
5. a person to whom others are subordinate, as the director of an institution or the manager of a department; leader or chief.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No cheating. Go back and read the definitions. Really read them, as if you were studying this yourself. I promise you it will be worth it... and I'm going some where with this all.
Did you re-read them? Now, take a look at "shaved his head,"
Read definition number 3 and 4 of shaved and then read definition 3 and 4 of head.
Now you're saying. I don't get it. Or, I'm not stupid, I see where this is going... you are saying that I need to "shave" (cut off, scrape away), my thoughts, my memories (of whom I've lost), my understanding (of it all), my emotions (how I'm feeling about everything), what I do that defines who I am... wait... what?!

It hit me like a ton of bricks, and through my tears these verses came to mind.

Romans 2:28-29
For he is not a Jew, which is one outwardly; neither is that circumcision, which is outward in the flesh:
But he is a Jew, which is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the spirit, and not in the letter; whose praise is not of men, but of God.


I Samuel 16:7
Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.


The circumcision is THAT OF THE HEART, in the spirit. Sometimes we have to let go of, and cut off those things that WE ourselves are holding onto.
I listened to a message the other day that talked about how when Jesus told his disciples whoever does not hate his sister or brethren, etc, (family) cannot be His disciple. Jesus wasn't telling them that you need to hate your family, he was saying LOVE ME MORE THAN YOU LOVE ANYBODY.



FELL

-simple past tense of fall
1. to drop or descend under the force of gravity, as to a lower place through loss or lack of support.
2. to come or drop down suddenly to a lower position, especially to leave a standing or erect position suddenly, whether voluntarily or not: to fall on one's knees.
3. to become less or lower; become of a lower level, degree, amount, quality, value, number, etc.; decline:
4. to subside or abate.
5. extend downward; hang down:

GROUND

1. the solid surface of the earth; firm or dry land: to fall to the ground.
2. earth or soil: stony ground.
3. land having an indicated character: rising ground.
4. Often, grounds. a tract of land appropriated to a special use: picnic grounds; a hunting ground.
5. Often, grounds. the foundation or basis on which a belief or action rests; reason or cause:

Do you have a lack of support?(: I know some days I feel a lot like that. Definition 1 of fall, with definition 5 of ground. Where do you fall when you have no support or are you doing all that you can in your strength to stand?
Fall. Give up. Fall on the foundation. For He is good.


Job 39:6 Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof;


Have you ever fallen? It's usually not a slow process. You hit ground fast. Fall on Him. Fall on His Word. Fall on the foundation of His promises. Fall. Fall. Fall. Quit trying, struggling to stand and just fall.

Fall to your REASON, to your CAUSE, your BASIS, the basis, of you daily Christianity.

Lastly...

"and worshipped,"

And worshipped, and worshipped, and worshipped...
Reverence. Honour. Fear. Amazement. Adorning.


JOHN 4:24 God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.

That they may see, and know, and consider, and understand... (:

10Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

11Behold, all they that were incensed against thee shall be ashamed and confounded: they shall be as nothing; and they that strive with thee shall perish.

12Thou shalt seek them, and shalt not find them, even them that contended with thee: they that war against thee shall be as nothing, and as a thing of nought.

13For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

14Fear not, thou worm Jacob, and ye men of Israel; I will help thee, saith the LORD, and thy redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

15Behold, I will make thee a new sharp threshing instrument having teeth: thou shalt thresh the mountains, and beat them small, and shalt make the hills as chaff.

16Thou shalt fan them, and the wind shall carry them away, and the whirlwind shall scatter them: and thou shalt rejoice in the LORD, and shalt glory in the Holy One of Israel.

17When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue faileth for thirst, I the LORD will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them.

18I will open rivers in high places, and fountains in the midst of the valleys: I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water.

19I will plant in the wilderness the cedar, the shittah tree, and the myrtle, and the oil tree; I will set in the desert the fir tree, and the pine, and the box tree together:

20THAT THEY MAY SEE, AND KNOW, AND CONSIDER, AND UNDERSTAND TOGETHER, That the hand of the LORD hath done this, and the Holy One of Israel hath created it.

21Produce your cause, saith the LORD; bring forth your strong reasons, saith the King of Jacob.




Prayed tonight before I went to Barnes and Nobles that God would give me someone to reach out to. And He did. (:

Not only did she ask for my name and number, but I am hopefully going to her candle party the first of April. She asked me where I went to church, before I even said a word about my LORD God. How cool(:

You could take this as coincidence, happenstance, or even simply answered prayer... but I know in my heart, I cried unto the Lord tonight as nothing more than a worm, and Lord Almighty God, Maker of this universe placed my footsteps to walk start to the one He knew has need of Him.

What a great and awesome God we serve! If I didn't have an opportunity yesterday... it's because I didn't ask Him for one. He says we have not, BECAUSE we ask not.

James 4

1From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?

2Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.

3Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

4Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

5Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?

6But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

7Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

8Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.

9Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.

10Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

11Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.

12There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?

13Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:

14Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.

15For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.

16But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.

17Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

Is This What You Call A Relationship?

“I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers with pure conscience, that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and day;
Greatly desiring to see thee, being mindful of thy tears, that I may be filled with joy;
When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.
Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Be not therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou a partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God:
Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began.
But is now made manifest by the appearing of our Saviour Jesus Christ, who hath abolished death, and hath brought life and immortality to light through the gospel:2 Timothy 1:3-10

Working at the local hardware store, I make a lot of good friends out of the middle aged to older men that like a strong cup of good coffee and someone to argue with. There was a man that had an excellent sense of humor, long time member of my Two Rivers community, a man that last time less than a month ago was joking about rescuing me from the “local boys.” He had stayed just long enough for all of them to leave the shop so they wouldn’t be hanging around all night. He talked with my Grandpa and boss, Kedrick Wallis for hours on end while I’d be cleaning or working in the back of the shop. He about stole all the Christmas cookies this year coming very frequently around the holidays. I had the opportunity to spend a lot of time working and covering the shop for my Grandpa during the month of break we get off from UAF. That was pretty much every day other than Sundays when we are closed.
A couple weeks ago I heard the news. They found him a couple days after he died. I heard about it a Thursday night in church, in the form of a request to “pray for the family, community, Kedrick and Emily.” At first I couldn’t believe the name. I heard it, but I knew that they couldn’t mean him. They have the wrong name. They have the wrong guy. When my Dad put his hand on my shoulder and grabbed my keys to take me home I knew it real. Hit my knees crying immediately. Felt like throwing up. He was murdered, by boy I grew up with. This kid was over at my house so often when I was younger, we didn’t have to guess who it was when the doorbell rang everyday for years.

Where is the standard of good? How are we to know the difference between right and wrong according to the different circumstances and situations in our lives? What makes us think that we wouldn’t be tempted to murder, tomorrow? How is it that we believe thinking about ourselves first and foremost doing what we needed to be doing just this morning or even right now is any LESS of a sin in the sight of God than murdering your own father? After all, Jesus was murdered for all of our sins.
It is GOD that makes the standard. It is by HIM actions are weighed. No man or his ideas pondering this life will be correct in his thinking unless it is based upon the awesome standard of Gods very Word.
“Talk no more exceedingly proudly; let not arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by Him actions are weighed.” 2 Samuel 2:3

Sometimes it’s really hard to remember he is gone. Walked into the shop last week and sure enough, he wasn’t sitting on the 5 gallon oil bucket sipping his coffee. It hurts to know life doesn’t end here. With all my heart I would long to see him in heaven some day, but reality is that good people go to hell every day. Because what we see as good, is our opinion. God see’s good, as perfection, completion, beautiful... as Himself. He is the definition of the very word good. If I have a heart without God, I am without goodness.
The Lord says, there is none that doeth good, no not one. If the presence of God is goodness, and the absence of God is not, then wouldn’t it make sense that the more of God in your life, as far as drawing closer to Him in your relationship with Him, the more of good you will see?
“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” –Psalm 23:6


If I treated my parents, best friend, grandma, brother, husband, boyfriend, on a given day, as sometimes I treat my Lord… I know what they would say to me. They would ask me in anger and hurt,

“Is this what you call a relationship?”

As the Lord asks my heart. I want a better relationship. I want to please Him. I want to miss Him at work and long for the time I can spend before Him in prayer, long for Him to speak to me.
“Seek ye the LORD while He may be found, call ye upon Him while He is yet near.” Isaiah 55:6

Good Morning Monday!(:

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice


Romans 8:38-39
38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Just thinking this morning, our sin separates us from God... but the scripture says, NOTHING, not ANYTHING in or our of this world can EVER serparate us from the everlasting Love of God. That's awe-some(:


1 Peter 1:19-21
19But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:

20Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you,

21Who by him do believe in God, that raised him up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in God.


John 1:1-5
1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

2The same was in the beginning with God.

3All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

4In him was life; and the life was the light of men.

5And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.




2 Peter 1:19-21
19We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts:

20Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation.

21For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.

I'm PANICKING right now! This is really not good. I'm not even sure why I'm on here now. Just a denial for a few more moments of everything I need to get done. My car is a mess, my room is a mess, my laundry needs to be done, I am suppose to stay at Stasia's tonight, a paper that was due tonight I talked to my teacher about and she is awesome and letting me write it tonight and turn it in before midnight... Frontier is having me start my mornings over there for training, which is good, but really overwhelming to learn everything... by the time I get back to MVI Realty for the 2nd half of the day, I have a bunch of work on my desk to complete. I have something going on every Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night, Friday night, and these are all things like classes, and church and things I can't cut out even if I wanted to. Even typing this out my franticnessss is becoming more apparent. AH. What I SHOULD do right now is stop panicking and start working. That's what I should be doing. OKAY! (: SO. Me and all my phalanges are going to get to writing this paper... and doing some psychology homework if I'm lucky. Head over to Stasias... OH, and I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks!! AND I JUST KNEWWW my Nutrition teacher was looking at me when we were talking about exercise and diet. Haha, I just wanted to stand up and say ITS NOT MY FAULT!!! But of course that's probably not the correct or adult like reaction unfortunately.

In the midst of all this panicking... I got to work and got my paper done... and I've really felt like I needed to blog this whole last week. It's one thing to read your bible, but it's another to really meditate on scriptures and apply them to your life. I feel like I do that here. It was frivilous for me to blog I felt for a long time (that's why i never blogged! lol;), until I find something worth saying. A lot of what I do say isn't often worth saying to start with, so why in the world would I want to write it down to be recorded?! (:

A couple verses that have been on my mind and heart lately is 1stly Proverbs 1:7
Nothing shuts me up sometimes when I get frantic and panicky and overwhelmed, but as my mind was reeling a thousand miles per hour, going in about 6 directions at one time, thinking about this one guy, really concerned for his soul, and then my friend, she's hurting really bad and she needs the Lord, then there's this I need to do for the church, and then there's the girls, I need to help them out, and there's my parents, my sister, my homework, forget homework! I'm late for class!! ...

"THE FEAR OF THE LORD IS THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM."

What does that even have to do with what I was thinking about you're wondering? Well, nothing... but that's kind of the point. There's a reason God says, "BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD."

Take a few minutes today and think about the fear of the Lord. Reverence Him as you ought. Kneel before Him and honor Him FIRST in your life and most importantly in your heart. EVERYTHING ELSE is all vanity in comparison.

What does it mean to run?

It's amazing who my God is and what He can do. All I can say about this week is that I have truly been kept in the palm of His hands. He is the quiet, when no one's around. He is the strength of my heart. He teaches me often to run to Him.

Various and assundry events have prevented me from running this last week, but I am really looking forward to getting back on track soon. One of the days I ran my 4 miles, for some reason it was harder than all the rest. No one was running beside me, I didn't have any distractions, no ipod, nothing to keep on my mind, but things that made me want to give up.

Earlier that day I was reading in the Song of Solomon. I know what you're thinking haha. If you are anything like me, which most people might not be, but if perhaps you are... You read the bible, but the "song of solomon" is a bunch of mushy stuff for married people thank you very much. =P But it isn't so. My God is My Shepard. The same Shepard that is talked about in the Song of Solomon. I am what He cares for and loves, and that is His love story for me.
So back to running... I was running along, little sisters patiently waiting for me in the car, and I'm thinking my staaars, this is harder than usual for some reason. Maybe I can just run 3, after all the girls are waiting.

The truth is I needed God's love confirmed to me. I know it always in my head, but sometimes I don't FEEL it. I don't see it. I don't hear it. I feel empty and torn. But God's children don't always FEEL loved, they don't always SEE that they are loved, and they don't always HEAR it.

-We are to walk by faith, not by sight-

When we walk by faith, He is FAITHFUL to provide everything, time and time again, every single need.
SO I'm running and I'm running, and I start to think about the Lord, and I think of a verse that has to do with running...

DRAW ME, WE WILL RUN AFTER THEE.

-Song of Solomon 1:3

What does it mean to run? Does that mean jog? Limp... waddle lol? Walk fast? Stay steady? Keep a pace? What does it mean to RUN after the Lord?? When I think of run now, I think sweat. I think fast. I think challenging. I think effort. Do I put as much work into my service for the Lord as I do to run 4 miles? Do I leave EVERYTHING behind me when I RUN, truly RUN after Christ? Or did I wake up this morning look at my bible and waddle over there. Slump to my knees to pray, and yawn as I checked it off my to-do-list for a good little Christian girl. I believe there's a difference, and I know I need to make a change.

Had a greaaat time at bible study last night. It was about priorities... and I could really use come help in organizing my own. It's been awesome to be with my family, although... let me tell you. My hatred for grocery shopping is thoroughly amplified and hugely increased. /= But we made it out of Fred Meyers all alive. (:

"Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself" -Daniel 1:8

Two of my theme verses for this year took some time to choose. But I finally picked them!

Philippians 1:21
For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

1 Peter 3:4

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

I was listening to the Single's Conference messages this morning too, both were really good. but Pastor James Reid made a statement that I haven't been able to get off my mind. He said that, "You need to know Who you belong to."

Revelation 20 says,

¹¹He came unto his own, and his own received him not.

¹²But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:

¹³Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

Acting like a son or daughter of the Highest is just as important as being a son or daughter of the Highest.

Psalm 73

"TRULY GOD IS GOOD TO ISRAEL, EVEN TO SUCH AS ARE OF A CLEAN HEART."
love youuu guys!(: