Monday, March 14, 2011

Is This What You Call A Relationship?

“I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers with pure conscience, that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and day;
Greatly desiring to see thee, being mindful of thy tears, that I may be filled with joy;
When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.
Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Be not therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou a partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God:
Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began.
But is now made manifest by the appearing of our Saviour Jesus Christ, who hath abolished death, and hath brought life and immortality to light through the gospel:2 Timothy 1:3-10

Working at the local hardware store, I make a lot of good friends out of the middle aged to older men that like a strong cup of good coffee and someone to argue with. There was a man that had an excellent sense of humor, long time member of my Two Rivers community, a man that last time less than a month ago was joking about rescuing me from the “local boys.” He had stayed just long enough for all of them to leave the shop so they wouldn’t be hanging around all night. He talked with my Grandpa and boss, Kedrick Wallis for hours on end while I’d be cleaning or working in the back of the shop. He about stole all the Christmas cookies this year coming very frequently around the holidays. I had the opportunity to spend a lot of time working and covering the shop for my Grandpa during the month of break we get off from UAF. That was pretty much every day other than Sundays when we are closed.
A couple weeks ago I heard the news. They found him a couple days after he died. I heard about it a Thursday night in church, in the form of a request to “pray for the family, community, Kedrick and Emily.” At first I couldn’t believe the name. I heard it, but I knew that they couldn’t mean him. They have the wrong name. They have the wrong guy. When my Dad put his hand on my shoulder and grabbed my keys to take me home I knew it real. Hit my knees crying immediately. Felt like throwing up. He was murdered, by boy I grew up with. This kid was over at my house so often when I was younger, we didn’t have to guess who it was when the doorbell rang everyday for years.

Where is the standard of good? How are we to know the difference between right and wrong according to the different circumstances and situations in our lives? What makes us think that we wouldn’t be tempted to murder, tomorrow? How is it that we believe thinking about ourselves first and foremost doing what we needed to be doing just this morning or even right now is any LESS of a sin in the sight of God than murdering your own father? After all, Jesus was murdered for all of our sins.
It is GOD that makes the standard. It is by HIM actions are weighed. No man or his ideas pondering this life will be correct in his thinking unless it is based upon the awesome standard of Gods very Word.
“Talk no more exceedingly proudly; let not arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by Him actions are weighed.” 2 Samuel 2:3

Sometimes it’s really hard to remember he is gone. Walked into the shop last week and sure enough, he wasn’t sitting on the 5 gallon oil bucket sipping his coffee. It hurts to know life doesn’t end here. With all my heart I would long to see him in heaven some day, but reality is that good people go to hell every day. Because what we see as good, is our opinion. God see’s good, as perfection, completion, beautiful... as Himself. He is the definition of the very word good. If I have a heart without God, I am without goodness.
The Lord says, there is none that doeth good, no not one. If the presence of God is goodness, and the absence of God is not, then wouldn’t it make sense that the more of God in your life, as far as drawing closer to Him in your relationship with Him, the more of good you will see?
“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” –Psalm 23:6

If I treated my parents, best friend, grandma, brother, husband, boyfriend, on a given day, as sometimes I treat my Lord… I know what they would say to me. They would ask me in anger and hurt,

“Is this what you call a relationship?”

As the Lord asks my heart. I want a better relationship. I want to please Him. I want to miss Him at work and long for the time I can spend before Him in prayer, long for Him to speak to me.
“Seek ye the LORD while He may be found, call ye upon Him while He is yet near.” Isaiah 55:6


blondevue... said...

Your heart for God always amazes me and makes me want to be closer to God myself. To have a stronger Relationship with Him.

I am so sorry for your hurt and pain right now over the loss of your friend. I would say I can't imagine. But I can. And I know it is incredibly hard. Wish a hug would take all the pain away, but I am glad that you have even better than that, and that God is holding you in His hands.

Sure do love you girl, going to be seeing you soon. :)