Yes, I am asking you. For some reason blog posts for me is a way to work out my problems on paper. A way to study, talk to myself, and being honest with myself using the mirror of God's Word. Maybe someone out there will be able to relate with where I'm at right now. Though I know this is so much more to myself than you. Even still My God never ceases to use His written Word.
Although, no one has asked me the "what have you lost recently" question,
who I've lost and what I've lost has been on my mind.
"I don't know who I am anymore." Have you ever heard that statement? It sure is a sad statement, but an even worse feeling.
Have you lost who you are?
"I'm so lost without you, that I can't find myself." Have you heard that sad, pretty country song? It's heart wrenching, because often we define who we are by how our loved ones view us. And when, they don't love us anymore... or when they are ripped from our lives, it has a tendency to make us feel less than worthless if that's possible.
Have you lost a close relationship? Does it wear on you even today, though it may have happened a year or two ago? That person, who meant everything to you...
"I don't know who I am
Staring at a million broken pieces here
I don't know where I stand
While I'm still, the world goes round so free so cavalier
Aimlessly I wander, like a drifter
on a narrow winding road
I've got plenty of direction but I don't know where to go
I'm so lost without you
I'm so lost without you
Baby, I'm so lost without you
That I can't find myself
No it don't seem right this canyon of lonely lying in our bed
Lord how I've cried a waterfall of tears until my eyes turn red
Ever since you left me it's been like a bullet through my heart
And I know I should move on, but I don't know where to start"
While I had been trying to gather my thoughts this week on how to blog what's been on my heart, I remembered the old story of Job. [Pronounced ("Joe"-buh) for those who are wondering why I'm going to start talking about a job.]
He was a great man, very successful in his life. I can imagine he knew who he was. And... he lost everything in one day. We talk about how someone means everything to us, or this position means everything to us, but literately... He lost EVERYTHING. His home, his children, his living, his business, and on and on.
What did he do? What are YOU suppose to do? You know what you've lost, and I know that it meant everything to you. You've probably wondered how you can turn back time, how you can move on, how to go forward... what can you do?
Job 1:20
Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, Well, that seemed easy enough for him, but I have cut my hair short enough recently thank you very much, and besides it wouldn't look good if I started ripping things off. People would start thinking I was having a Brittany Spears moment, and this is suppose to be biblical?!
Then I started to use my dictionary. Never dreamed a dictionary would make me cry. I looked up "arose."
AROSE
1. to get up from sitting, lying, or kneeling; rise:
2. to awaken; wake up:
3. to move upward; mount; ascend:
4. to come into being, action, or notice; originate; appear; spring up:
5. to result or proceed; spring or issue
Sometimes proceeding and moving forward, take a deep breath, requires action. Commonly known as getting up and doing something, anything. And how's this for a change, different. Do. Something. Different. Get up, number one, and prepare your mind and heart to do something different; what you are doing now isn't working, wasn't working, and will not continue to work. You have two choices. Stay here, in this spot of confusion and loneliness. Or decide now, that you are going to change what you are doing, whatever it is... or is not. Arise. Spring into action. Come into being.
Then there's "rent his mantle"
RENT- past tense of "rend."
rend
1. to separate into parts with force or violence:
2. to tear apart, split, or divide:
3. to pull or tear violently (often followed by away, off, up, etc.).
4. to tear (one's garments or hair) in grief, rage, etc.
5. to disturb (the air) sharply with loud noise.
6. to harrow or distress (the heart) with painful feelings.
Ouch. This sounds a little less than exciting. I already hurt. I'm not going to do something that with make me hurt more.
Well.. don't decide that just yet. It will come with a comparably small sacrifice.
What in the world is a mantle, you're asking.
MANTLE
1. a loose, sleeveless cloak or cape.
2. something that covers, envelops, or conceals:
What are you hiding behind? Or maybe I need to ask, what are you concealing so tightly that no one, not even your closest friends and family members knows? Open up. Rip it to pieces and show yourself to Jesus. Everything is made manifest in His sight anyways.
Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped,SHAVED
to remove a growth of beard with a razor.
verb (used with object)
2. to remove hair from (the face, legs, etc.) by cutting it off close to the skin with a razor.
3. to cut off (hair, especially the beard) close to the skin with a razor (often followed by off or away ).
4. to cut or scrape away the surface of with a sharp-edged tool:
HEAD
1. the upper part of the body in humans, joined to the trunk by the neck, containing the brain, eyes, ears, nose, and mouth.
2. the corresponding part of the body in other animals.
3. the head considered as the center of the intellect, as of thought, memory, understanding, or emotional control; mind; brain:
4. the position or place of leadership, greatest authority, or honor.
5. a person to whom others are subordinate, as the director of an institution or the manager of a department; leader or chief.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. No cheating. Go back and read the definitions. Really read them, as if you were studying this yourself. I promise you it will be worth it... and I'm going some where with this all.
Did you re-read them? Now, take a look at "shaved his head,"
Read definition number 3 and 4 of shaved and then read definition 3 and 4 of head.
Now you're saying. I don't get it. Or, I'm not stupid, I see where this is going... you are saying that I need to "shave" (cut off, scrape away), my thoughts, my memories (of whom I've lost), my understanding (of it all), my emotions (how I'm feeling about everything), what I do that defines who I am... wait... what?!
It hit me like a ton of bricks, and through my tears these verses came to mind.
Romans 2:28-29
For he is not a Jew, which is one outwardly; neither is that circumcision, which is outward in the flesh:
But he is a Jew, which is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the spirit, and not in the letter; whose praise is not of men, but of God.
I Samuel 16:7
Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. The circumcision is THAT OF THE HEART, in the spirit. Sometimes we have to let go of, and cut off those things that WE ourselves are holding onto.
I listened to a message the other day that talked about how when Jesus told his disciples whoever does not hate his sister or brethren, etc, (family) cannot be His disciple. Jesus wasn't telling them that you need to hate your family, he was saying LOVE ME MORE THAN YOU LOVE ANYBODY.
FELL
-simple past tense of fall
1. to drop or descend under the force of gravity, as to a lower place through loss or lack of support.
2. to come or drop down suddenly to a lower position, especially to leave a standing or erect position suddenly, whether voluntarily or not: to fall on one's knees.
3. to become less or lower; become of a lower level, degree, amount, quality, value, number, etc.; decline:
4. to subside or abate.
5. extend downward; hang down:
GROUND
1. the solid surface of the earth; firm or dry land: to fall to the ground.
2. earth or soil: stony ground.
3. land having an indicated character: rising ground.
4. Often, grounds. a tract of land appropriated to a special use: picnic grounds; a hunting ground.
5. Often, grounds. the foundation or basis on which a belief or action rests; reason or cause:
Do you have a lack of support?(: I know some days I feel a lot like that. Definition 1 of fall, with definition 5 of ground. Where do you fall when you have no support or are you doing all that you can in your strength to stand?
Fall. Give up. Fall on the foundation. For He is good.
Job 39:6 Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof;Have you ever fallen? It's usually not a slow process. You hit ground fast. Fall on Him. Fall on His Word. Fall on the foundation of His promises. Fall. Fall. Fall. Quit trying, struggling to stand and just fall.
Fall to your REASON, to your CAUSE, your BASIS, the basis, of you daily Christianity.
Lastly...
"and worshipped,"
And worshipped, and worshipped, and worshipped...
Reverence. Honour. Fear. Amazement. Adorning.
JOHN 4:24 God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.