It's a good life (:

STUDY JESUS Like You Study For College

2011-10-03T14:23:00.010-08:00

These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.
-Acts 17:11
I came to a point last week where I was, as you would say, at my wits end. I'd HAD it. I was done! I was giving up, failing miserably at finding my God. Where was He in my life? I couldn't see Him working. I wasn't doing anything actively for Him really. I had no peace. I was not happy. Days dragged on. I was MISERABLLLE with no particular reason why...
Let me just say right now, it's AMAZING what crying out to the LORD in sheer desperation can do. It's a miracle what praying can do. It is a miracle what the bible can do on a daily basis in your life.

Somewhere deep inside me I have a desperate need to learn more about God. To be closer to Him, to "be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear"
-I Peter 3:15
Maybe I could find my answers at bible college. I've prayed off and on about going, but this last week I specifically prayed night and day for the Lord to guide me and show me clearly that this was exactly where HE wanted me to be. He didn't. He doesn't want me there... You want to know why? (:
Because ONE, HE is the Greatest Teacher.
"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
-Matthew 11:29
And TWO, because He had a greater lesson for me to learn here.
Let me explain-
Tonight I was invited to a movie, and I ended up having a conversation with Shannon about her driving to North Pole to get a college book from a friend to study, leaving it there because he needed to finish his homework as she drove back into town, to to have to turn right back around after the movie to pick it up again and finish her homework. It was already 9pm, and the movie was who knows how long(: It was going to be a late night. It got me to thinking about the last two or three now, years of up-all-nighters. Coffee and english papers. Getting in the online homework 2minutes before midnight. All that jazz. I even rememebered the time I ran through every campus building to get to my class to turn in an essay in which the paper was still warm when I handed it to him (with a smirk) from being just freshly printed.
What does this have to do with seeking the Lord's will for my life? Seek to study Jesus like you do your college, Emily.
I know God is everywhere, and I know I can serve Him anywhere- but I need to be disciplined enough to sit down and read my bible everyday... and I'm not!! Bible college would be hours and hours a week devoted to serving Him and I would be constantly encouraged to read. That is exactly what I need Lord! No. What I need is to read. What I need is a GOD-GIVEN DESIRE and LOVE for Christ that gives me a "want to." Not a HAVE to. Not the safe playing field where I go to hear and to listen (which is very important obviously) but a place where HEARING and DOING are one in the same.
"But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was."
-James 1:22-24

I don't want to go to a bible college for a year, see myself make some changes, and FORGET what I look like.
The fact of the matter is, if I can't serve God here... I can't serve God ANYWHERE.

So tonight, what I am doing is acting like I'm in college. Even though I've take this semester off, I am actually AT UAF, in the library, studying James, because that is what we are studying as a church.
Again, Acts 17:11 says, "These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so."
And yes, it's 10pm. I scratched the movie. After all, I'm studying. And yes, I still have to be up for work at 4am, and yes, I still have to drive all the way home, and no, I'm not going to get a lot of sleep. But you know something? If I had a Microbiology test tomorrow, it wouldn't matter. In fact, I would prabably be here all night long. How convicting is that?

REALLY QUICK NOW. I've thought about what's important when you're in college.
1st and foremost, it's prrrobably to simply show up. Be in class. Well, 1st and foremost, be in church.
-Hebrews 10:25
2ndly, Read your textbook! Yep, that's right. God's Word. And I'm the WORST at reading my textbook.
-Psalm 119:105 Really awesome verse. The Word is enlighting! (: Especially when we don't know where to place our feet.
At the end of your textbook chapters there is always those good ole' "personal application" questions (that I never answer)- well, answer them. Apply scriptures to your life like they are your own. They are yours when you do.
Memorize for the tests. Psalm 119:11
Do your homework.
What is the bible commanding of you today? And asking yourself how can you fufill that in your life today? John 14:15
Talk to your Teacher.
Yes,,, prayer. What a great gift of God. Psalm 62:8
Consider the reward.
- I LOVE getting an A on a test more than I love coffee. That's HUGE!!
Genesis 15:1
Luke 6:35
Consider the cost.
Tution is going up AGAIN. It has already risen by what, 10 percent? 20?? College is getting super expensive in a world where our dollars are getting fewer. Have you counted the cost? Luke 14:28-33
What about Jesus Christ's cost? Acts 11:17
(Who are you, by the way, that you can withstand God?)

I'm going to take His yoke upon me and learn of Him. Where He leads I am fully intendent on going, but I will only take a step when His hand is moving me.
Thanks for the comments, I love to hear from you- and those of you that read my blog and don't have one of your own (Michelle) *cough*cough*hack* you should strongly consider getting one. Love you all!

Em

PROVERBS 15:28
The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.

Lets Run

2011-10-01T04:42:00.002-08:00

Hebrews 12
1Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

2Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

3For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.

Why I would I spend my life longing for the day that it would end?
Why would I spend my time pointing to another man?
Isn't that crazy

How can I find hope in dying, with promises unseen?
How can I learn your way is better,
In everything I'm taught to be?

I have not been called to the wisdom of this world,
But to a God who's calling out to me.
And even though the world may think
I'm losing touch with reality,
It would be crazy
To choose this world over eternity.

And if I boast let me boast
Of filthy rags made clean
And if I glory let me glory
In my Savior's suffering

And as I live this daily life
I trust you for everything
And I will only take a step
When I feel You leading me

What Have You Lost Recently?

2011-09-28T09:58:00.007-08:00

Yes, I am asking you. For some reason blog posts for me is a way to work out my problems on paper. A way to study, talk to myself, and being honest with myself using the mirror of God's Word. Maybe someone out there will be able to relate with where I'm at right now. Though I know this is so much more to myself than you. Even still My God never ceases to use His written Word.
Although, no one has asked me the "what have you lost recently" question,
who I've lost and what I've lost has been on my mind.

"I don't know who I am anymore." Have you ever heard that statement? It sure is a sad statement, but an even worse feeling.

Have you lost who you are?

"I'm so lost without you, that I can't find myself." Have you heard that sad, pretty country song? It's heart wrenching, because often we define who we are by how our loved ones view us. And when, they don't love us anymore... or when they are ripped from our lives, it has a tendency to make us feel less than worthless if that's possible.
Have you lost a close relationship? Does it wear on you even today, though it may have happened a year or two ago? That person, who meant everything to you...

"I don't know who I am
Staring at a million broken pieces here
I don't know where I stand
While I'm still, the world goes round so free so cavalier
Aimlessly I wander, like a drifter
on a narrow winding road
I've got plenty of direction but I don't know where to go

I'm so lost without you
I'm so lost without you
Baby, I'm so lost without you
That I can't find myself

No it don't seem right this canyon of lonely lying in our bed
Lord how I've cried a waterfall of tears until my eyes turn red
Ever since you left me it's been like a bullet through my heart
And I know I should move on, but I don't know where to start"

While I had been trying to gather my thoughts this week on how to blog what's been on my heart, I remembered the old story of Job. [Pronounced ("Joe"-buh) for those who are wondering why I'm going to start talking about a job.]
He was a great man, very successful in his life. I can imagine he knew who he was. And... he lost everything in one day. We talk about how someone means everything to us, or this position means everything to us, but literately... He lost EVERYTHING. His home, his children, his living, his business, and on and on.

What did he do? What are YOU suppose to do? You know what you've lost, and I know that it meant everything to you. You've probably wondered how you can turn back time, how you can move on, how to go forward... what can you do?

Job 1:20

Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped,

Well, that seemed easy enough for him, but I have cut my hair short enough recently thank you very much, and besides it wouldn't look good if I started ripping things off. People would start thinking I was having a Brittany Spears moment, and this is suppose to be biblical?!
Then I started to use my dictionary. Never dreamed a dictionary would make me cry. I looked up "arose."

AROSE
1. to get up from sitting, lying, or kneeling; rise:
2. to awaken; wake up:
3. to move upward; mount; ascend:
4. to come into being, action, or notice; originate; appear; spring up:
5. to result or proceed; spring or issue

Sometimes proceeding and moving forward, take a deep breath, requires action. Commonly known as getting up and doing something, anything. And how's this for a change, different. Do. Something. Different. Get up, number one, and prepare your mind and heart to do something different; what you are doing now isn't working, wasn't working, and will not continue to work. You have two choices. Stay here, in this spot of confusion and loneliness. Or decide now, that you are going to change what you are doing, whatever it is... or is not. Arise. Spring into action. Come into being.

Then there's "rent his mantle"

RENT- past tense of "rend."
rend
1. to separate into parts with force or violence:
2. to tear apart, split, or divide:
3. to pull or tear violently (often followed by away, off, up, etc.).
4. to tear (one's garments or hair) in grief, rage, etc.
5. to disturb (the air) sharply with loud noise.
6. to harrow or distress (the heart) with painful feelings.

Ouch. This sounds a little less than exciting. I already hurt. I'm not going to do something that with make me hurt more.
Well.. don't decide that just yet. It will come with a comparably small sacrifice.

What in the world is a mantle, you're asking.

MANTLE
1. a loose, sleeveless cloak or cape.
2. something that covers, envelops, or conceals:

What are you hiding behind? Or maybe I need to ask, what are you concealing so tightly that no one, not even your closest friends and family members knows? Open up. Rip it to pieces and show yourself to Jesus. Everything is made manifest in His sight anyways.

Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped,

SHAVED
to remove a growth of beard with a razor.
verb (used with object)
2. to remove hair from (the face, legs, etc.) by cutting it off close to the skin with a razor.
3. to cut off (hair, especially the beard) close to the skin with a razor (often followed by off or away ).
4. to cut or scrape away the surface of with a sharp-edged tool:

HEAD
1. the upper part of the body in humans, joined to the trunk by the neck, containing the brain, eyes, ears, nose, and mouth.
2. the corresponding part of the body in other animals.
3. the head considered as the center of the intellect, as of thought, memory, understanding, or emotional control; mind; brain:
4. the position or place of leadership, greatest authority, or honor.
5. a person to whom others are subordinate, as the director of an institution or the manager of a department; leader or chief.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No cheating. Go back and read the definitions. Really read them, as if you were studying this yourself. I promise you it will be worth it... and I'm going some where with this all.
Did you re-read them? Now, take a look at "shaved his head,"
Read definition number 3 and 4 of shaved and then read definition 3 and 4 of head.
Now you're saying. I don't get it. Or, I'm not stupid, I see where this is going... you are saying that I need to "shave" (cut off, scrape away), my thoughts, my memories (of whom I've lost), my understanding (of it all), my emotions (how I'm feeling about everything), what I do that defines who I am... wait... what?!

It hit me like a ton of bricks, and through my tears these verses came to mind.

Romans 2:28-29
For he is not a Jew, which is one outwardly; neither is that circumcision, which is outward in the flesh:
But he is a Jew, which is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the spirit, and not in the letter; whose praise is not of men, but of God.

I Samuel 16:7
Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.

The circumcision is THAT OF THE HEART, in the spirit. Sometimes we have to let go of, and cut off those things that WE ourselves are holding onto.
I listened to a message the other day that talked about how when Jesus told his disciples whoever does not hate his sister or brethren, etc, (family) cannot be His disciple. Jesus wasn't telling them that you need to hate your family, he was saying LOVE ME MORE THAN YOU LOVE ANYBODY.

FELL

-simple past tense of fall
1. to drop or descend under the force of gravity, as to a lower place through loss or lack of support.
2. to come or drop down suddenly to a lower position, especially to leave a standing or erect position suddenly, whether voluntarily or not: to fall on one's knees.
3. to become less or lower; become of a lower level, degree, amount, quality, value, number, etc.; decline:
4. to subside or abate.
5. extend downward; hang down:

GROUND

1. the solid surface of the earth; firm or dry land: to fall to the ground.
2. earth or soil: stony ground.
3. land having an indicated character: rising ground.
4. Often, grounds. a tract of land appropriated to a special use: picnic grounds; a hunting ground.
5. Often, grounds. the foundation or basis on which a belief or action rests; reason or cause:

Do you have a lack of support?(: I know some days I feel a lot like that. Definition 1 of fall, with definition 5 of ground. Where do you fall when you have no support or are you doing all that you can in your strength to stand?
Fall. Give up. Fall on the foundation. For He is good.

Job 39:6 Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof;

Have you ever fallen? It's usually not a slow process. You hit ground fast. Fall on Him. Fall on His Word. Fall on the foundation of His promises. Fall. Fall. Fall. Quit trying, struggling to stand and just fall.

Fall to your REASON, to your CAUSE, your BASIS, the basis, of you daily Christianity.

Lastly...

"and worshipped,"

And worshipped, and worshipped, and worshipped...
Reverence. Honour. Fear. Amazement. Adorning.

JOHN 4:24 God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.

That they may see, and know, and consider, and understand... (:

2011-03-14T21:28:00.002-08:00

10Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

11Behold, all they that were incensed against thee shall be ashamed and confounded: they shall be as nothing; and they that strive with thee shall perish.

12Thou shalt seek them, and shalt not find them, even them that contended with thee: they that war against thee shall be as nothing, and as a thing of nought.

13For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

14Fear not, thou worm Jacob, and ye men of Israel; I will help thee, saith the LORD, and thy redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

15Behold, I will make thee a new sharp threshing instrument having teeth: thou shalt thresh the mountains, and beat them small, and shalt make the hills as chaff.

16Thou shalt fan them, and the wind shall carry them away, and the whirlwind shall scatter them: and thou shalt rejoice in the LORD, and shalt glory in the Holy One of Israel.

17When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue faileth for thirst, I the LORD will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them.

18I will open rivers in high places, and fountains in the midst of the valleys: I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water.

19I will plant in the wilderness the cedar, the shittah tree, and the myrtle, and the oil tree; I will set in the desert the fir tree, and the pine, and the box tree together:

20THAT THEY MAY SEE, AND KNOW, AND CONSIDER, AND UNDERSTAND TOGETHER, That the hand of the LORD hath done this, and the Holy One of Israel hath created it.

21Produce your cause, saith the LORD; bring forth your strong reasons, saith the King of Jacob.

Prayed tonight before I went to Barnes and Nobles that God would give me someone to reach out to. And He did. (:

Not only did she ask for my name and number, but I am hopefully going to her candle party the first of April. She asked me where I went to church, before I even said a word about my LORD God. How cool(:

You could take this as coincidence, happenstance, or even simply answered prayer... but I know in my heart, I cried unto the Lord tonight as nothing more than a worm, and Lord Almighty God, Maker of this universe placed my footsteps to walk start to the one He knew has need of Him.

What a great and awesome God we serve! If I didn't have an opportunity yesterday... it's because I didn't ask Him for one. He says we have not, BECAUSE we ask not.

James 4

1From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?

2Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.

3Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

4Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

5Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?

6But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

7Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

8Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.

9Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.

10Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

11Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.

12There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?

13Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:

14Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.

15For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.

16But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.

17Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

Is This What You Call A Relationship?

2011-03-14T19:20:00.003-08:00

“I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers with pure conscience, that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and day;
Greatly desiring to see thee, being mindful of thy tears, that I may be filled with joy;
When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.
Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Be not therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou a partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God:
Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began.
But is now made manifest by the appearing of our Saviour Jesus Christ, who hath abolished death, and hath brought life and immortality to light through the gospel:2 Timothy 1:3-10

Working at the local hardware store, I make a lot of good friends out of the middle aged to older men that like a strong cup of good coffee and someone to argue with. There was a man that had an excellent sense of humor, long time member of my Two Rivers community, a man that last time less than a month ago was joking about rescuing me from the “local boys.” He had stayed just long enough for all of them to leave the shop so they wouldn’t be hanging around all night. He talked with my Grandpa and boss, Kedrick Wallis for hours on end while I’d be cleaning or working in the back of the shop. He about stole all the Christmas cookies this year coming very frequently around the holidays. I had the opportunity to spend a lot of time working and covering the shop for my Grandpa during the month of break we get off from UAF. That was pretty much every day other than Sundays when we are closed.
A couple weeks ago I heard the news. They found him a couple days after he died. I heard about it a Thursday night in church, in the form of a request to “pray for the family, community, Kedrick and Emily.” At first I couldn’t believe the name. I heard it, but I knew that they couldn’t mean him. They have the wrong name. They have the wrong guy. When my Dad put his hand on my shoulder and grabbed my keys to take me home I knew it real. Hit my knees crying immediately. Felt like throwing up. He was murdered, by boy I grew up with. This kid was over at my house so often when I was younger, we didn’t have to guess who it was when the doorbell rang everyday for years.

Where is the standard of good? How are we to know the difference between right and wrong according to the different circumstances and situations in our lives? What makes us think that we wouldn’t be tempted to murder, tomorrow? How is it that we believe thinking about ourselves first and foremost doing what we needed to be doing just this morning or even right now is any LESS of a sin in the sight of God than murdering your own father? After all, Jesus was murdered for all of our sins.
It is GOD that makes the standard. It is by HIM actions are weighed. No man or his ideas pondering this life will be correct in his thinking unless it is based upon the awesome standard of Gods very Word.
“Talk no more exceedingly proudly; let not arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by Him actions are weighed.” 2 Samuel 2:3

Sometimes it’s really hard to remember he is gone. Walked into the shop last week and sure enough, he wasn’t sitting on the 5 gallon oil bucket sipping his coffee. It hurts to know life doesn’t end here. With all my heart I would long to see him in heaven some day, but reality is that good people go to hell every day. Because what we see as good, is our opinion. God see’s good, as perfection, completion, beautiful... as Himself. He is the definition of the very word good. If I have a heart without God, I am without goodness.
The Lord says, there is none that doeth good, no not one. If the presence of God is goodness, and the absence of God is not, then wouldn’t it make sense that the more of God in your life, as far as drawing closer to Him in your relationship with Him, the more of good you will see?
“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” –Psalm 23:6

If I treated my parents, best friend, grandma, brother, husband, boyfriend, on a given day, as sometimes I treat my Lord… I know what they would say to me. They would ask me in anger and hurt,

“Is this what you call a relationship?”

As the Lord asks my heart. I want a better relationship. I want to please Him. I want to miss Him at work and long for the time I can spend before Him in prayer, long for Him to speak to me.
“Seek ye the LORD while He may be found, call ye upon Him while He is yet near.” Isaiah 55:6

Good Morning Monday!(:

2011-02-21T09:34:00.005-09:00

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

Romans 8:38-39
38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Just thinking this morning, our sin separates us from God... but the scripture says, NOTHING, not ANYTHING in or our of this world can EVER serparate us from the everlasting Love of God. That's awe-some(:

1 Peter 1:19-21
19But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:

20Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you,

21Who by him do believe in God, that raised him up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in God.

John 1:1-5
1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

2The same was in the beginning with God.

3All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

4In him was life; and the life was the light of men.

5And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

2 Peter 1:19-21
19We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts:

20Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation.

21For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.

2011-02-16T21:15:00.003-09:00

I'm PANICKING right now! This is really not good. I'm not even sure why I'm on here now. Just a denial for a few more moments of everything I need to get done. My car is a mess, my room is a mess, my laundry needs to be done, I am suppose to stay at Stasia's tonight, a paper that was due tonight I talked to my teacher about and she is awesome and letting me write it tonight and turn it in before midnight... Frontier is having me start my mornings over there for training, which is good, but really overwhelming to learn everything... by the time I get back to MVI Realty for the 2nd half of the day, I have a bunch of work on my desk to complete. I have something going on every Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night, Friday night, and these are all things like classes, and church and things I can't cut out even if I wanted to. Even typing this out my franticnessss is becoming more apparent. AH. What I SHOULD do right now is stop panicking and start working. That's what I should be doing. OKAY! (: SO. Me and all my phalanges are going to get to writing this paper... and doing some psychology homework if I'm lucky. Head over to Stasias... OH, and I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks!! AND I JUST KNEWWW my Nutrition teacher was looking at me when we were talking about exercise and diet. Haha, I just wanted to stand up and say ITS NOT MY FAULT!!! But of course that's probably not the correct or adult like reaction unfortunately.

In the midst of all this panicking... I got to work and got my paper done... and I've really felt like I needed to blog this whole last week. It's one thing to read your bible, but it's another to really meditate on scriptures and apply them to your life. I feel like I do that here. It was frivilous for me to blog I felt for a long time (that's why i never blogged! lol;), until I find something worth saying. A lot of what I do say isn't often worth saying to start with, so why in the world would I want to write it down to be recorded?! (:

A couple verses that have been on my mind and heart lately is 1stly Proverbs 1:7
Nothing shuts me up sometimes when I get frantic and panicky and overwhelmed, but as my mind was reeling a thousand miles per hour, going in about 6 directions at one time, thinking about this one guy, really concerned for his soul, and then my friend, she's hurting really bad and she needs the Lord, then there's this I need to do for the church, and then there's the girls, I need to help them out, and there's my parents, my sister, my homework, forget homework! I'm late for class!! ...

"THE FEAR OF THE LORD IS THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM."

What does that even have to do with what I was thinking about you're wondering? Well, nothing... but that's kind of the point. There's a reason God says, "BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD."

Take a few minutes today and think about the fear of the Lord. Reverence Him as you ought. Kneel before Him and honor Him FIRST in your life and most importantly in your heart. EVERYTHING ELSE is all vanity in comparison.

What does it mean to run?

2011-01-21T07:09:00.004-09:00

It's amazing who my God is and what He can do. All I can say about this week is that I have truly been kept in the palm of His hands. He is the quiet, when no one's around. He is the strength of my heart. He teaches me often to run to Him.

Various and assundry events have prevented me from running this last week, but I am really looking forward to getting back on track soon. One of the days I ran my 4 miles, for some reason it was harder than all the rest. No one was running beside me, I didn't have any distractions, no ipod, nothing to keep on my mind, but things that made me want to give up.

Earlier that day I was reading in the Song of Solomon. I know what you're thinking haha. If you are anything like me, which most people might not be, but if perhaps you are... You read the bible, but the "song of solomon" is a bunch of mushy stuff for married people thank you very much. =P But it isn't so. My God is My Shepard. The same Shepard that is talked about in the Song of Solomon. I am what He cares for and loves, and that is His love story for me.
So back to running... I was running along, little sisters patiently waiting for me in the car, and I'm thinking my staaars, this is harder than usual for some reason. Maybe I can just run 3, after all the girls are waiting.

The truth is I needed God's love confirmed to me. I know it always in my head, but sometimes I don't FEEL it. I don't see it. I don't hear it. I feel empty and torn. But God's children don't always FEEL loved, they don't always SEE that they are loved, and they don't always HEAR it.

-We are to walk by faith, not by sight-

When we walk by faith, He is FAITHFUL to provide everything, time and time again, every single need.
SO I'm running and I'm running, and I start to think about the Lord, and I think of a verse that has to do with running...

DRAW ME, WE WILL RUN AFTER THEE.

-Song of Solomon 1:3

What does it mean to run? Does that mean jog? Limp... waddle lol? Walk fast? Stay steady? Keep a pace? What does it mean to RUN after the Lord?? When I think of run now, I think sweat. I think fast. I think challenging. I think effort. Do I put as much work into my service for the Lord as I do to run 4 miles? Do I leave EVERYTHING behind me when I RUN, truly RUN after Christ? Or did I wake up this morning look at my bible and waddle over there. Slump to my knees to pray, and yawn as I checked it off my to-do-list for a good little Christian girl. I believe there's a difference, and I know I need to make a change.

2011-01-08T11:57:00.002-09:00

Had a greaaat time at bible study last night. It was about priorities... and I could really use come help in organizing my own. It's been awesome to be with my family, although... let me tell you. My hatred for grocery shopping is thoroughly amplified and hugely increased. /= But we made it out of Fred Meyers all alive. (:

"Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself" -Daniel 1:8

Two of my theme verses for this year took some time to choose. But I finally picked them!

Philippians 1:21
For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

1 Peter 3:4

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

I was listening to the Single's Conference messages this morning too, both were really good. but Pastor James Reid made a statement that I haven't been able to get off my mind. He said that, "You need to know Who you belong to."

Revelation 20 says,

¹¹He came unto his own, and his own received him not.

¹²But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:

¹³Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

Acting like a son or daughter of the Highest is just as important as being a son or daughter of the Highest.

Psalm 73

"TRULY GOD IS GOOD TO ISRAEL, EVEN TO SUCH AS ARE OF A CLEAN HEART."
love youuu guys!(:

---Believe to the Saving of the Soul

2010-12-16T09:07:00.002-09:00

²²Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.

²³Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)

²⁴And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:

²⁵Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

²⁶For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,

²⁷But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.

²⁸He that despised Moses' law died without mercy under two or three witnesses:

²⁹Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace?

³⁰For we know him that hath said, Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people.

³¹It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

³²But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions;

³³Partly, whilst ye were made a gazingstock both by reproaches and afflictions; and partly, whilst ye became companions of them that were so used.

³⁴For ye had compassion of me in my bonds, and took joyfully the spoiling of your goods, knowing in yourselves that ye have in heaven a better and an enduring substance.

³⁵Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.

³⁶For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.

³⁷For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry.

³⁸Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him.

³⁹But we are not of them who draw back unto perdition; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul.

Sometimes we talk about backsliding like its a normal thing. Like it's something that we just do and will do again. God who is rich in mercy and love does remember our frame. Still, He commands and calls us to be holy like unto Him; to be perfect, and walk before Him.
We aren't of this world anymore. No it wont it doesn't always scream to the world that I am a called out Christian, to my shame; but it sure doesn't mean that my God doesn't want me on my knees asking for Him, and asking for His presence in my life. To kneel before Him pleading for His love, for His faith, and for His spirit; for His right hand upholding me and directing my every way, before in this world I start each day.

Because: I'm not sure why. (:

2010-12-06T09:58:00.002-09:00

Proverbs 15

¹A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

²The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.

³The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.

⁴A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.

⁵A fool despiseth his father's instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.

⁶In the house of the righteous is much treasure: but in the revenues of the wicked is trouble.

⁷The lips of the wise disperse knowledge: but the heart of the foolish doeth not so.

⁸The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright is his delight.

⁹The way of the wicked is an abomination unto the LORD: but he loveth him that followeth after righteousness.

¹⁰Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die.

¹¹Hell and destruction are before the LORD: how much more then the hearts of the children of men?

¹²A scorner loveth not one that reproveth him: neither will he go unto the wise.

¹³A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

¹⁴The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge: but the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness.

¹⁵All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.

¹⁶Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith.

¹⁷Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.

¹⁸A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.

¹⁹The way of the slothful man is as an hedge of thorns: but the way of the righteous is made plain.

²⁰A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother.

²¹Folly is joy to him that is destitute of wisdom: but a man of understanding walketh uprightly.

²²Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.

²³A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!

²⁴The way of life is above to the wise, that he may depart from hell beneath.

²⁵The LORD will destroy the house of the proud: but he will establish the border of the widow.

²⁶The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD: but the words of the pure are pleasant words.

²⁷He that is greedy of gain troubleth his own house; but he that hateth gifts shall live.

²⁸The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.

²⁹The LORD is far from the wicked: but he heareth the prayer of the righteous.

³⁰The light of the eyes rejoiceth the heart: and a good report maketh the bones fat.

³¹The ear that heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise.

³²He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.

³³The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility.

In Him I'll Hide(:

2010-12-03T22:47:00.003-09:00

First of all, I just want to say how amazing my Lord is. The ways He sweetly speaks to my heart constantly overwhelm me. It's too much too understand or conceive even a small portion of His great love for me and you.
I hide behind a lot of things. I hide behind my family, my friends, my goals... most often my school, and I always hide behind my sarcasm.
There is nothing that I can hide behind when it comes to Him. He sees me. He knows my fears. When no one sees the tears I blink back, He keeps them. And today I couldn't hide behind anything anymore. I found failure upon failure and mistake after mistake, crowded and mixed up with the fears I try to deny and subdue about the future. I was thinking about how Jesus Christ, My Savior, can answer a lost person's every need. And when my friends would come to me and ask for advice or want to talk... it's hard not to point them in the direction of the One who can heal their every pain. How come sometimes I who am saved don't live like that? Like He IS the answer to my every problem?
I sat down down at the piano and not even thinking about what I was playing, I just started to play.

The Lord’s our Rock, in Him we hide,
A Shelter in the time of storm;
Secure whatever ill betide,
A Shelter in the time of storm.

A shade by day, defense by night,
A Shelter in the time of storm;
No fears alarm, no foes afright,
A Shelter in the time of storm.

The raging storms may round us beat,
A Shelter in the time of storm
We’ll never leave our safe retreat,
A Shelter in the time of storm.

O Rock divine, O Refuge dear,
A Shelter in the time of storm;
Be Thou our Helper ever near,
A Shelter in the time of storm.

I started to try to sing it, and I can tell you right now it wasn't happening. Secondly, I want to say I'm so thankful for godly friends. God uses each and everyone of you for His glory and honor if you are only willing to be used. Andrew's post broke my heart all over again... He is the Rock of our salvation, He is the great God, He is the LORD God, our very own maker.
Tori's recent blog verses along the very same lines:

"My meditation of Him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the LORD." Psalm 104:34

"Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. For Thou hast been a shelter for me, and a tower from the enemy." Psalm 61:1-3

"Then they shall cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and He bringeth them out of their distresses. He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.... O that men would praise the LORD for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men!" Psalm 107:28-29,31

Thanks for the encouragement of God's Word.
We couldn't be saved, sheltered, or hid by any greater love.

He Is Able

2010-12-01T22:40:00.002-09:00

"I Know"

Where do I begin with what to say I've played this conversation in my head so many times I'm
certainly not claiming to know everything but what i do will save your life.
I know that God is able. I know that He still reigns. I know that love
has found a way.
No matter what it is you're going through even if you think you're far beyond where hope can
see i know there is a hand that's reaching out for you because He did the same for me.
it wasn't that long ago when my own world fell apart, it fell apart and everything here inside
of me said to let go, you must let go I found my self crying out to the One who knows my heart,
He knows your heart and holding tight to the few things that I know.

"I Know Whom I Have Believed" (practicing this on the piano all day... think I'm getting it down... fiiinally) (:

I know not why God’s wondrous grace
To me He hath made known,
Nor why, unworthy, Christ in love
Redeemed me for His own.
- Refrain:
  But “I know Whom I have believed,
  And am persuaded that He is able
  To keep that which I’ve committed
  Unto Him against that day.”
I know not how this saving faith
To me He did impart,
Nor how believing in His Word
Wrought peace within my heart.
I know not how the Spirit moves,
Convincing men of sin,
Revealing Jesus through the Word,
Creating faith in Him.
I know not what of good or ill
May be reserved for me,
Of weary ways or golden days,
Before His face I see.
I know not when my Lord may come,
At night or noonday fair,
Nor if I walk the vale with Him,
Or meet Him in the air.

2 Timothy 1:11-13

Whereunto I am appointed a preacher, and an apostle, and a teacher of the Gentiles.

For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.

Hold fast the form of sound words, which thou hast heard of me, in faith and love which is in Christ Jesus.

Greater is He

2010-12-01T12:26:00.003-09:00

Ecclesiastes 4⁶Better is an handful with quietness, than both the hands full with travail and vexation of spirit.
Ecclesiastes 5¹Keep thy foot when thou goest to the house of God, and be more ready to hear, than to give the sacrifice of fools: for they consider not that they do evil.²Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.³For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool's voice is known by multitude of words.

Ecclesiastes 7²It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart.³Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.

Ecclesiastes has always been one of my favorite books of the bible; but I never understand those last two verses until this past year. I knew it had to be right, because the bible is true... but how could sadness really be better that laughter and joy?

The most meaningful and most memorable times in my life have not been the good times. They have not been the times when I was surrounded by family and friends. I sure do have those good memories, but the memories I have that have had the most impact on me were the times that I was tore up about something. The times when I have wept and prayed with friends. When My heart was literately failing me, when it physically hurt, when I cried out to my God.

It is through pain and sorrow we "lay it to our hearts." We remember the serious things of life. We remember who we are and why we are here. Our hearts are "made better" when things in life hurt us and draw us back to the One who frees us from our pain and loves us without limit or restriction. Those are the memories, those are the late nights that are planted so deep in my heart I wont be able to forget. We are a peculiar people, called with a high calling. What a privilege to serve One who's understanding is "infinite."

I read 1 Peter 2, and if you get the chance read the whole chapter. It really spoke to my heart in following God's will and having Him direct my steps. It's not so much where I work, what I do, where I go, as it is that I follow the example that Christ left behind. It's not a matter of knowing God's will, but doing it.

¹¹Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;

¹²Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.

¹⁵For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men:

²¹For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

²²Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:

²³Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

²⁴Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

1 Peter 3

...If any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;²While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.³Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;⁴But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

What all these verses seem to have in common is the "quietness." Which don't you know is my best attribute. (:

God's in the fixing business though, and He's is a lot stronger than me.

Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.1 John 4:4

On a scale of 1 to 10; it's an 8(:

2010-11-26T19:11:00.004-09:00

Commitment takes on a whole new meaning when it’s for a cause tied to your own heart. It's when it's attached to who you are as a person that you can’t cut its connection to your soul.

Yesterday I was ready to rent an apartment. I was ready to call a halting stop to the idea of moving home. My mom is an amazing person, an extremely hard worker. Always has been and she’s too real to change. But yesterday I was really hit with constant reminder’s of how exactly opposite I am of my Dad, in almost every single way. I love my Dad and he is clever and wise about dealing with people and but our personalities could not be more different. His way of life is extremely different than the way I lead my own. On a scale of 1 to 10, out of all the difficult things I’ve done in my life, for me, dealing with him when I am home in a loving and respectful way is going to be a solid 8. I was ready to start considering some other serious options as opposed to moving back home. BUT, I have thought about this, and I have prayed about this. The answer of what I should do was clear. I needed to be home... I got to thinking I would just go home and visit the girls a lot next semester, instead of wrecking the good relationship I have with my Dad.
I was amazed at how I had gotten so, so angry and frustrated by the end of the day I couldn’t believe it. I went to church last night for evening services and the lesson was really good, on thankfulness; really good message. Then like most years, we one by one talked about what we were especially thankful for this year. When Deanna started listing what she was thankful for, her eyes filled up with tears and she could hardly speak for a minute. “I am so thankful for my sisters… for Emily,” she trembled. “And I’m so happy that she’s going to be moving back home again. She means a lot to me and it’ll be so good to have her back around.” Sitting directly behind her, I saw the tears as they ran down the front of her cheeks and didn't stop.

Pretty sure, pretty sure that ends all debate. All discussion. Any excuses. The Devil seems to want to get ahold of this situation and it scares me because I know he is out there, and he is real. And he desires to stir our hearts and desires to be the opposite of what God would have.
I’m scared of my example. There isn’t a day that I can be selfish in that home. There just isn’t room for it. There isn’t a day in which I need to put myself first, or a day where I can argue with my Dad and in doing so be disrespectful. For some reason I have it in my head that when I am right it is okay to prove it. And that’s not it. Even if I am right about a lot of things my Dad and I disagree on, it is not my responsibility or right to correct him. It reminds my of something my boss, grandpa, said to me last summer. “It’s not always necessary to prove to others you are right Emmie Kae, it’s only necessary to be right.”

So I am committed to making this work, no matter how hard or difficult it gets. It's where I need to be. For my God, first and foremost, and for my little sisters.
Prayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy for me please.
Still waiting to hear back on the different jobs I've applied for, so please keep those in your prayers as well. As my 2nd Mom told me today, "God is good. And as long as you rely on Him you will come out okay." He has always been really good to me. He always does provide. Just waiting and excited to see what He has planned for me next.

3AM

2010-11-24T08:08:00.004-09:00

3. Three means completion. I'm pretty sure 7 means perfection. 40 represents sin and wandering. 21 is the legal American age to drink. at 16 you can start driving. I like numbers. and their meanings. I still tend to close my eyes and wish at 11:11, just because. 13 used to drive me crazy when I was younger. I was sure it was the worst number in the world. I've finally kind of gotten over that. It's proved to be lucky, or, at least not so bad a few times(:

I've been awake since 3, just couldn't seem to sleep even though I was really tired. I was too lazy to try to read. And too tired to be spiritually minded so I just laid there. Rolled... more less, flopped off the bed onto the floor with my huuuge blanket close to suffocating me.

Finally thought of some verses I liked. Got on my knees and started to pray. Why is it so hard to pray sometimes? It's like asking God why He even loves me? The reasoning is unfathomable. I prayed, and told God I don't know why I'm in the state I am, and He heard. He forgave me. God is always so good to me. Read the devotion too, it went right along the same lines. God always seems to work like that.

Matthew 7:7-11
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

The battle is always going to be there. No matter what we promise or strive to do, we are still "us." Human as they come. But we serve a God who like in the verses I had up earlier, Psalm 103, He REMEMBERS our frame... He remembers we are just dust.

⁸The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.

⁹He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever.

¹⁰He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

¹¹For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.

¹²As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

¹³Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.

¹⁴For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.

IN THE MEANTIME... I will be here at Lou's working again for Joanna today. I am looking forward to Thanksgiving. I miss Brian and Michelle. It will be good to have them back and here in time for dinner. I want to hear all their stories. Hopefully the roads wont be toooooo scary... because either Brian or my Dad will be picking me up I'm sure. Thanksgiving without meeeeeeeee! ): That'd be horrible. Okay, maybe not the end of the world, but Aubree Dae would cry, and nobody wants that. (:

here's something.

2010-11-23T20:03:00.002-09:00

Going through my emails today, and I found this one that I wrote to someone whilst discussing/arguing whether or not I could know God's will for my life.

"I wait, only to see what God does. I did choose. I sacrificed what I wanted for what He commands... because it came down to whether I trusted Him or not. If I really believe, He is in fact the God of the universe, that does love me, than I should be able to trust Him with my all. Doing what I want and crossing my fingers for Him to bless me for it, isn't how God works. Sometimes certain situations I can't understand and doesn't make sense to me and sometimes its hard to do what the bible says. I want to use my own ideas and my own logic, but in the end of every situation He knows. His wisdom far exceeds mine. He made me and knows me better than anyone else. He loves me more than you or anyone else does. He is the only one who will always be there for me, and has been since the day I first trusted Him 8 years ago. When there is no one I feel like I can trust anymore, I know I can trust Him because He is always faithful to me. When I didn't have the money for college, I prayed and He provided. I asked Him to help me when I was sick and he saved my life when the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. I prayed for him to work on your heart, and He did. Because I am not just my own anymore, I became His, when I trusted Him with my life. Its all or nothing. I have to take the steps, but don't think for a minute He doesn't guide my feet."

"The steps of the good man are ordered by the LORD"

Psalm 103

¹Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.

²Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

³Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;

⁴Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

⁵Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.

⁶The LORD executeth righteousness and judgment for all that are oppressed.

⁷He made known his ways unto Moses, his acts unto the children of Israel.

⁸The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.

⁹He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever.

¹⁰He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

¹¹For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.

¹²As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

¹³Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.

¹⁴For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.

¹⁵As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth.

¹⁶For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more.

¹⁷But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children;

¹⁸To such as keep his covenant, and to those that remember his commandments to do them.

¹⁹The LORD hath prepared his throne in the heavens; and his kingdom ruleth over all.

²⁰Bless the LORD, ye his angels, that excel in strength, that do his commandments, hearkening unto the voice of his word.

²¹Bless ye the LORD, all ye his hosts; ye ministers of his, that do his pleasure.

²²Bless the LORD, all his works in all places of his dominion: bless the LORD, O my soul.

directions

2010-11-23T14:30:00.008-09:00

Lord, you know what I need and want already. I'm willing to wait. I just need my eyes and hands focused in a clear direction. On an area of service. And I think the answer is obvious, Your church. That's where You're love is. Your name is glorified there. I just need specific ways to be of help and a heart that's dedicated and focused to putting You and the church first in my life.

Talked to Lou about character qualities I should be looking for in a guy. The thought process started when Jason dropped me off last Thursday from church. He said that he wanted a list of “must have’s” and “preferences” if you will. When I asked Lou what was most important she said, “someone who lets the other guy talk before he starts in.” I can think of the guys that I’ve been interested in so far… and I’m pretty sure none of them had that quality. She asked me what I thought, and the only thing I could think of was honesty. I know it kind of goes without saying, but after Friday, that’s all I could think about, honesty. I asked her what another good one would be and she said a lack of selfishness. Never heard it quite worded like that before. It’s a good way to word it I believe… because everyone is selfish. She asked me what I thought again, and I said someone who really cares… and she finished, about his neighbor. Good finish, and that’s as far as we got.

Tim McGraw’s “my best friend” is one of my favorite songs; used to think of Shannon when I heard it, or my Grandpa. Can’t wait until it reminds me of "him." Somehow I always feel connected to people… guys in general, or one specifically, even if I don’t actually like them, but a lot of times when I do, simply because there is no other one to connect with or imagine myself with. Maybe it’s a girl thing, I’m not sure. But I haven’t felt like “just me” in quite a while. Yesterday, lying on my bed, thinking about it. For the first time in over a year, I felt like just me. No connections. Anywhere.

Moving to Hawaii for a school semester is starting to become a serious option. Next spring is too soon I think. Next fall might be just about perfect. I miss the Clark's. I don’t know where I’m supposed to be or what I’m suppose to do. I feel like I should be hanging around my girls. I think I need to be more involved in their lives… why let the world shape them more than I get to? Plus, I just miss them like crazy. I’ll be glad to get out of here and start something new. I’ll miss Lou a lot… but I think it’s time for home.

It’s really foggy today, the roads are horribly icy. Yesterday, Wyatt rescued me from home and took me out to see a movie and eat Mexican food (upon my request) and severe persuasion that he did indeed miss me more than he enjoyed playing COD. Haha(: Caleb was helping (kind of, not really lol) me with some verses to memorize due to my “lost and wandering” state. Here’s a few that I picked.

2 Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Anddd Psalm 119:169-176

Let my cry come near before thee, O LORD: give me understanding according to thy word.

Let my supplication come before thee: deliver me according to thy word.

My lips shall utter praise, when thou hast taught me thy statutes.

My tongue shall speak of thy word: for all thy commandments are righteousness.

Let thine hand help me; for I have chosen thy precepts.

I have longed for thy salvation, O LORD; and thy law is my delight.

Let my soul live, and it shall praise thee; and let thy judgments help me.

I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant; for I do not forget thy commandments.

Lastly! Psalm 37:23-34 (My favorite)

The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.

Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

Well. Still stuck inside due to the wet rain making roads super slick. It isn’t so bad being stuck in here. I’ll get back to my youtube ninja videos now. Hahah(:

OH, and P.S, one more thing. I'm always joking around about being "directionally challenged," well... Lord, I feel it now more than ever.

Wah lah(o:

2009-07-27T18:14:00.003-08:00

I have been having an amazinggg time on the road with Tori. Driving is a lot of what we do. lol(o: Sleep isn't something we get. It's been awesome so far. Howeverrr, yesterday my phone was stolennn, which is quite the bummer. Lots of contacts are gone, some probably foreverrr... it's pretty sad. On a lighter noteee, hopefully be getting a brand new phone next week. Exciting stuff. Think I'm getting the new samsung touch.

I know that there's a lottt of problems going on in soooo many friends lives personal, public, they are everywhere. The desperate need for prayer is rising.

I've really been trying to take this time with Tori away from everyone else to draw closer to my God. To pray and strive to act as a daughter of the Highest. I have a hard time getting down the basics of my Christian life.

The area's I've really been praying hard about are having my daily devotions... DAILY. And not just if I can get it in, but to be faithful to it.

Prayerrr is another big one for me. I know I do not pray near as much as I ought.

Musiccc. Music is a terrible thing that continually draws me farther and farther away. Takes my mind off of the Spirit and places it on the flesh. What I want, need, etc. It's a struggle. It's a daily fight.

HUMBLENESS is a huge one... I seriously wonder why I have a problem with this one. What do I have to be proud of? A little success God blesses me with and I fall apart spiritually. It really is messed up.

Sooo I'd like to encourage you to pray for me, as I do for you. Put God first. Humble yourselves, get on your knees and pray to our King.

"If my people..." it's our choice. It's our decision to recklessly abandon everything we know and run to Christ only to please Him, and no one else. It's amazing how God works everything to good for those that LOVE... Him. Love constrains us... love... true love... will accomplish miracles.

Ripping up the newspaper to read my bible =]

2009-04-17T10:41:00.003-08:00

Yesterday... I was getting rather frusterated at the economical and political standpoint of our country. I know, who isn't? I was just thinking about it, and the more I did the madder I got.

It all started with a commercial. Obama persuading fellow Americans to give to their local foodbanks. Which is fine... But taking into consideration that he is trying to hand out free health care, free food, etc... Who's going to have the initiave to work anymore? It's like a classroom grade. The first time the teacher hands out B's... everyone is happy. Sure, the A students are a little upset, but everyone else is fine. The competition or the incentive to get an "A" dwindle's. The students don't study quite as hard anymore. The "D" students don't see the need to study at all.... and the "C" and "B" students are expecting the "A" students to carry their weight. Eventually the teacher is handing out "D"'s to everyone.

No more more steak Americans, but don't worry, everyone will get beans. =}

Sooo,,, how exactly is this "hope" and "change" working again???

On a lighter noteee(o:

I read this today.... (:

1. Oh that thou wouldest rend the heavens, that thou wouldest come down, that the mountains might flow down at thy presence,

2. As [when] the melting fire burneth, the fire causeth the waters to boil, to make thy name known to thine adversaries, [that] the nations may tremble at thy presence!

3. When thou didst terrible things [which] we looked not for, thou camest down, the mountains flowed down at thy presence.

4. For since the beginning of the world [men] have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, [what] he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him.

5. Thou meetest him that rejoiceth and worketh righteousness, [those that] remember thee in thy ways: behold, thou art wroth; for we have sinned: in those is continuance, and we shall be saved.

6. But we are all as an unclean [thing], and all our righteousnesses [are] as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.

7. And [there is] none that calleth upon thy name, that stirreth up himself to take hold of thee: for thou hast hid thy face from us, and hast consumed us, because of our iniquities.

8. But now, O Lord, thou [art] our father; we [are] the clay, and thou our potter; and we all [are] the work of thy hand.
ISAIAH 64:1-8

I miss my friends, mannnnnn. =[

2009-04-15T21:55:00.007-08:00

They lefttt me... And I miss them a whole bunch. Enough to get on blogger and post about how sad I am that they aren't here anymore. I bet it's just knowing that their gone that's really getting to me and not that I just haven't seen them for 3 days. =/ *sniff*sniff* It's still rather depressing, however.

Tori's post dint help either. lol(o: Not that I dint enjoy reading it... it just made me miss her. 6 weeks should flyyy though, right? I can wait, but it'll take a wholeee lot of effort. lol(o: It'll also give me the chance to finish my school and classes will be over...

and to Chena Lakes we will go! =]

"My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.

This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.

It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him.

The LORD is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him.

It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD..."

Lamentations 3:20-27

That was a fun night... (o:

(still pretty at, hummm, 1 am??)

Love and miss you both a bunches(o:

I kinda like my job, too.

2009-04-04T18:28:00.003-08:00

I'm doing a presentation on CAT equipment and the N C Dealership in Alaska... and I can't find much to post about... lol So here's another picture!

I love my baby sister by the way... =]

2009-04-04T18:26:00.002-08:00

Today, was just grand(o:

2009-04-04T18:22:00.003-08:00

Just for you girls(:

Hellooo. Nothing new. Life is pretty grand. =]

Can't wait for the semester to be over... and summertime to be here =P

2009-02-06T14:00:00.002-09:00

SO Lanae'... I believe you are being QUITE hypocritical missay. And as sisters in the Lord we are to ADMONISH them. Haha. You post. Today. RIGHT THIS INSTANT. Or Emily is going on STRIKE. Yep, that's right. You think my posting is bad now. WELL. IT'S about to get worse. Dum, dum, dummm! Lol(o: I really do miss you.

Life is rolling ... rather quickly on by. Things are quite a bit different from last semester. Working more... I have Algebra 2, Chemistry, and Ak history at home. Taking the public communications class at TVC with Shannon and Rachel and friend from Hutch. It's going granddd. Way better than I expected. Actually having a lot of fun with the class. (:

Last Wednesday, I got in a "cooking mood" and told Mom not to make anything and that I woulld take care of dinner. She gladddly accepted my offer. I called my Dad and informed him he needed to arrive home on time and was not to eat anythinggg. LOL. He took that kind of funny, and was awkwardly wondering why his daughter had suddenly become so very concerned. However, I did not let him ask any questions and hung up the phone. =]

He arrived promptly on time and came through the kitchen rather slowlyyy. Felt my head for a fever and asked if I was feeling okay... I simply replied "DAD, I'm in a cooking mood." lol =]

Sooo, cheesy brocolli, spicy rice, creamy mashed potatoes sprinkled with cheese, and fried curry chicken strips was what came off the stove. And if I do say so myself it was quite yummy. I saved Brian a plate because I heard him complaining to my mom the other day about never getting any of the good home cooked meals anymore working those 10 hour shifts and coming home late. I saved him a plate with a longgg drawn out note explaining that I his lovely sister had made him a homecooked meal and specially and especially saved it specifically for him. =] =] =] hehehe... it was funny.

I recieved a text just a couple hours ago actually saying "Your 'homade' food is awesome! Thank you" lol

Brownie points for Emily!! Yay!!!

Not reallyyy actually. I think I should be making dinner a lotmore often and definatly should be helping out my mom more. I just get so bogged down with school sometimes, it's hard to focas on anything else. Hopefullyyy I'm going to try to make dinner every Wednesday night... its the best night I have to make it. With all fingers crossed, I'll stick to it.

Brian thinks its a great idea. Even offered me suggestions if I was ever wondering what to make. What a kid.

I miss Tori. Last week I texted her and kind of broke down, but she really helped and encouraged me. She's been sending me these devotions by email that are soooo good and soooo encouraging. Satan likes to make us feel like we are all alone in this. But we never are. =] Our sisters and brothers have our backs. It's good to know.

WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. I think I better gooo. Mom and Jen are getting their hair done by Ang here at her house right now. I'm actually on her lap top for that matter. (: They're looking QUITE funny with their foil if I do say so myself... hahah... =]

Hope everyone is doing WONDERFUL and if not... I'm here. Gimmie a call. (:

P.S.
WHOS READY FOR SUMMER??? =]=]=]

The Start of A New Year...

2009-01-02T08:42:00.000-09:00

Yesterday night at evening services, Pastor Ray said that he wanted to do something a little bit different that night. He said that he wanted for everyone to pick a verse or find a song to sing. At first it sounded okay,,, but I had no idea how much it would mean to our church. It's amazing how God can bring revival... even when you aren't expecting it. It was truly an awesome way to start off the new year... I wish I could decribe it... but it was just too special. Things like that are seldom and sweet. I ended up getting wrapped up in lots of specials, because Shannon wanted someone to sing with her, and Michelle didn't want to sing a solo either. Plus, my Dad wanted the whole family to sing together, and Jen wanted to sing one with all us kiddos. =] Then I had verse that I really felt like I should read too... especially after my Aunt Annette and Aunt Cindy both talked about witnessing to people and then getting discouraged when we can't see them get saved. God's perfect timing is what matters, we just have to be patient enough to wait, and faithful enough to consistantly pray for them.

"Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted."

Anywaysss... =] It's good not to be sick anymore. Thankfully I recovered rather quickly. I reallyyyyyyyyyyy don't like being sick. It's pretty much the worst. lol(:

GROSS =/

2008-12-31T11:24:00.000-09:00

Brian... o my dearest lovely brother got really sick last week and was throwing up and felt really bad the day after Christmas. He was sick for the weekend and by Sunday he was feeling a lot better. WELL. I figured I would be rather immune to this since I wasn't going to be staying at home anyway... I would just avoid the sick people... but I did feel pretty bad for him.

Yesterday around 5 I started feeling pretty sick to my stomach... and closed the shop up at 6... threw up... came home... threw up some more... meh. Being sick is the worst! I couldn't even really get up and walk around cuz I'd start feeling lightheaded. =/ I haven't been that sick in a longgg time.

Feeling quite a bit better now... but still haven't eaten since yesterday morning. I'm scared to...

Brian brought me some Pedialyte. It didn't work so well yesterday night... but today I've been sipping it.

I really want apple juice. lol(= It sounds really good and this stuff tastes salty with all the electrolyte's and minerals. I think I'll wait for the apple juice. It's not worth it. lol

Tonight is the New Years Eve get-ta-getha at the Trickeys. I've been so excited about going... but if I dont maintain feeling pretty good... then there is no way that I am going. I definatly dont want to get anyone else sick either.

I'm crossing my fingers though... (o:

Recent and Random Picturesss(=

2008-12-29T21:37:00.006-09:00

I don't really have a lot to say... (= Things are good... taking care of the hardware shop and watching Kedrick's house for him while he's gone for the holidays visiting family in Arkansas. I've really enjoyed being off from school... and since then... been having fun with the camera on my celly phone. Some are a lil blurry... all wellsss. =] Please comment! I like to hear from everyone... (:

snowboarding(=

At Thanksgiving... my beautiful baby sis

On the way to Delta... how pretty!!! This picture doesn't do the scenery justice... the sunlight was making the trees sparkle... it was really something [=

WHAT a handsome boyaaa(;

pretty miss Deanna:o)

GLASSES. Do they help this blond look smarter?? (: just maybe??

What we look like at 1 o clock in da mornin' lol

my 2 reasons

2008-12-29T21:11:00.000-09:00

WHAT is this suppose to mean??? > ! < exect its in this lil triangle...

Blahhhh...

A little prayer request... (:

2008-12-15T10:24:00.002-09:00

Finals. Are. Here. Dum tum dum...

Yes. It really IS that dreadful just in case you are wondering. Stress isn't something I really like to incorporate into my life but sometimes it comes anyways. =S I would really appriciate some prayer on these big exams if you get jut a spare moment. Next Wednesday it will be all over... (= so on that happy note! I better get back to studyinggg. I am alive and doing fine... =] Just a little stressed out as of lately... but doing better. (o:

Hope everyone is having a great time getting ready for the holidays. Yesterday afternoon, a bunch of us in the church went caroling. It was really, really good. I didn't really feel like I was being a blessing as much as I felt that I was recieving the blessing... just being with everyone and going out to the community. The freedoms we still have to be thankful for here in America should definately not be taken for granted even in this ecominic crisis and presidental socialistic...... mess...... but ahem. We were staying thankful, right??! =] Haha... (:

Love you all... (:

Verses, yay! =] =] =]

2008-11-17T17:11:00.004-09:00

2 Timothy 1:7
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Last post for today, I promise. =] lol I absolutely love this verse... it has really helped me keep sane throughout this whole semester. It is really encouraging too, so hopefully... if you were needing a little bit of encouragement, this helped. Our God is so good... and here's the verse I kind of butchered earlier. =)

Romans 8:28
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Sooooooo I was driving along... and THEN (:

2008-11-17T16:36:00.004-09:00

I really wasn't going to post today, because life has been rather depressing lately... However. To save myself from a hooded, black eyeshadowed slump of emo-ness in all its scariness, I figured it would be a good idea to "let out allllllll of these feelings of disapointment and grief" to you all. Haha, just teasinggg. =) I could have just waited until life was back to normal, but then I would get it later from individuals who feel it necessary to know the gory details of my troubles. Ahem.
Anywaysss, =]. Sooooooo, I was just driving along... and then around a corner... and well... didn't quite make it completely around the corner. The snow from the right side of the road pulled me in and I will admit, I panicked a little... and as a result over-corrected to the right... started sliding yet again... over-corrected to the left... putting my car in this weaving motion back and forth... spun around in a "fun" little circle and went deep down into the ditch, off of this small hillish bank about 45 feet away from the road. Puuurty exciting stuff I tell you. A really nice guy and his son stopped after watching what happened and helped me out... later telling me how completely cool it had looked. Joy. I'm glad it seemed to have serve some purpose of amusement I suppose. Buttt anyways... God was really protecting me. I slipped into the ditch between two ratherly large trees, and should have hit one. Actually, when I stepped out of my car I was under the ratherly large branches. The damage didn't look bad, in fact I have no dents or smashed glass whatsoever. However, the front right tire was well... not on. At all. The ball joint or axel broke and was really not in moving condition. But today I finally got it all straightened out with the towing company who came out and picked it up, hauled it to Alaska Auto something or other, and they should be giving me an estimate on how much it is going to cost to fix it... =/ I already know it's more than I first anticipated... but I'm ready to just get it fixed and done with if and as soon as possible.
Its a rather dreary some thing being without vehichle after you are being used to having one, and driving yourself everywhere with it. All welllllll... everything works together for them that love Him right?? Something like that anyways... I don't have my bible with me, but I know it says that. =o)
Life other than that is wonderfulll. I had a really, really good day. No papers... =) Until Wednesday anyways... which is in two days... ughh... but anyways. We were consentrating on today! =) I aced a reading quiz in economics, and history... well.. I got a test back... and it didn't look too good. But we'll not consentrate on that either! =] =] =] The point I was trying to make is now we are studying a new section, and starting new notes. Hopefully, I can get this down by this last quarter. If not, then, well... I'll have to work with what I've got, and I can say it's been a "learning experience".
I hope everyone is as feeling GREAT and super HAPPY today. Because Thanksgiving is next week! I get to go over to my Grandma's and help her with setting up for dinner and the whole family coming over. I'm stoked. =) =) =) It's going to be great. I miss my family. Even my immediate ones. =/
la ti da... hmm... should probably go and study the newly learned things discovered today in school, but thanks for all the comments. I'll try to stay on top of this. =) Love you all, and have a great evening. ;)

sooo, it's been a while... =]

2008-11-15T09:04:00.002-09:00

May of 2007 is the very last time I posted. It's still pretty amazing to me that this blog has not self distructed after not have been used in so long. (: I think I need to update my links. I couldn't ever keep a diary, lol, I have no idea why I thought I could keep up on a blog... but I have gotten some complaints and they had all just about given up on me... so I thought I would post. It's hard to keep up with everyone and what is going on in there lives if you do not see them or talk to them very often... so in a way this is a great way to be "somewhat" aware of distant friends lives. I'll try not to make any promises, especially since things are so crazy right now, but I know the other day when I actually got on blogger for the first times in ages, I really enjoyed reading what everyone was all up to. So I might just try... yet again... to keep posting. (:

Life is really, really, really crazy for me right now. Not really the crazy kind of busy that you enjoy, but the whole too-much-to-do-so-im-not-getting-anything-completely-finished kind of busy. ): It's not the greatest feeling in the world, but life goes on, and I hear that this semester (along with most, if not all others lol) will come to an end. The three classes I am taking at UAF are just core basic classes that are giving me highschool and college credits. It's pretty neat, esspecially to have them all payed for as well. I even was re-embirsed for most of the books I bought. I am really enjoying my Economics class, the class I thought would be hardest in the beginning of the year. English is pretty fun... I mean... for being English. =P LOTS and LOTS of wonderful papers to write... like the Alaskan Oil Production paper I got on the computer for in the first place (ahem). =] All wellllll. I needed a distraction. However, the whole History thing... wow. It's a bit different. Don't get me wrong. I absolutly love to read history. I guess because I can kind of be a nerd like that.... but my teacher. Is well. A college professor?? Suprise. lol He happens to be pretty no nonsense. Grading us only on 5 or 6 Quizzzes and Exams. No participation points... no presentations, no papers, notta. Which at first sounded great... but... no so much. He gives his quizzes and exams strictly on his lectures... and doesn't even use the book. You study the notes you scramble down as quickly as you can.=/ It's a little different.
The classes I'm taking at home are going okay, though, by the time I finish the school up there its hard to get my other courses in. They aren't honesly getting done as frequently as they should be, but I'm really trying to work on that. I've really found that time is so valuable. It's probably a good thing that I can type rather fast or I would be on here forever. =] Or just be saying something like
Hi. School. Work. Uh, writing paper. gotaa go. love bye.
(: heh. thats funny. if i really am in a rush sometime i should do that.

But anywayyys. Then there's work. Which I have no complaints here. Work is great. Kedrick has always been a great boss, and working at the shop really gives me a chance to get my head out of school mode and just think about things. Working at the hardware store has really helped me learn a whole lot of things I never would have known. Tuesday I'm suppose to change the oil and filter on the backhoe and it just is so cool to me that through helping out and learning to work on the tractors I've learned a lot about how to take car of my car. I still have a long ways to go, but its the hand on easy fun learning like that giving college and homework such a contrast.

I can't wait until Christmas. =] Finallyyy I convinced Kedrick that having a Christmas tree in the shop would really benefit us by drawing in customers and appealing to their Christmas spirit. Haha... he didn't buy any of it... but he pretended to. =] =] =] He just said, Well, you are going to do something anyways, so you minds well have my permission. (: And then proceeded to use the word MODERATION over and over and over again. =] lol Oh its going to be great... im very excited, i think it will brighten the whole shop up. He's leaving me the shop for a couple weeks and going to Arkansas over Christmas. That should be pretty fun... classes will be over by that time and things will be at a very welcome slow down.

I better get going and do some more work on this paper. Hope everyone is having a wonderful day (:

POSTED. ;)

2007-05-16T22:18:00.000-08:00

It's been since March since I last posted... that's a really long time! lol Things have been just too crazy for blogging.
I am so excited. I get to watch my girlies tomorrow. =) Ansley and Makenia, and their new brother Braydon. Braydon is the sweetest baby in the world... I just love him. He is going to town with Rebecca for a doctors appointment to make sure he is perfectly healthy. I miss the girls though, I haven't needed to babysitt because Richard has been taking a lot of time off and Rebecca hasn't needed much help.
I was really excited about this weekend because I was going to go down with my Aunt Cindy and Shannon, and Marshal, to Marie's graduation, but Justin hurt his leg real bad in P.E. the other day. He has an appointment on Monday with the doctor. They think it is just a really bad sprain, but there could be something broken. Anyways, they didn't want to go, because it would be really rushed, and Justin would have to go with them on that long drive, and decided it wouldn't be the best of ideas. They are going to try and go down another weekend, and said when they do they will take me.
School is officially done for the year. I finished last week. I have to find a sample of Math from this year... some where... I think that when I was done, I was just so glad to be rid of the book, I misplaced it... lol After I turn that in, I will then *really* be officially done. =)
It's getting late, and I need to get things in order for tomorrow, but hey, I posted! You all should be so proud. ;)

Have a most wonderful day.
Emily

Horse Riding Experience... =0)

2007-03-05T11:30:00.000-09:00

It sure doesn't feel like it should be Monday today. The weekend is already gone... it's crazy. We had a complete blast at the bible study at Uncle Mikes house. All of the kids brought a verse that they really liked, and explained why they liked it. It was really interesting to hear every ones. Uncle Mike brought a lesson about future, and making sure that God is in whatever you want to do. We played some games... which FYI... the girls totally kicked butt on the T-shirt game. hehe... But the guys slaughtered us at "Guess a Word". It was fun. =0)

Yesterday afternoon my family and I went over to my Uncle Mikes again for Suday lunch. It was was fun. Shannon, Jen, and I rode the horses. =0) It was fun... a little scary at times, but it was alright. I got Sir first. He is pretty old and easy going... but he can be stubborn. I walked around on him for a while, and trotted, and even got into a little canter with him. I thought I was doing pretty good for never riding before... well... nothing that really counted anyways. Then... I thought, well I'll try Sassy. Which, by the way, she is named that for a VERY good reason. Well... I got on her and she's a bit younger, and she really likes to go fast. She was being a little more stubborn than Sir was, but I was expecting that. So I start around the big pen... and my PLAN was to go all the way around it. A-hem... Well... Half way around it she starts turning around in circles, and by this time I am softly kicking her and attempting to steer her in the right direction. All the sudden she decides to bolt off, back to the door of the pen... I am telling her "Woo"and the "WOOOO!!!" and she just keeps going faster... into a canter, and then into a full gallop... Maybe for all you horse riders your thinking well that's not too bad... but I was holding on for dear life!!! My legs were tighten around her as much as possible, and I wasn't going to dare let go of her mane to grab the rains that fell to her sides as she bolted off. I was so sure I was going to fall off. I look behind me... and guess what I see???? Jenni and Shannon are busting out laughing!!!! I was about to kill the both of them. At first i could hear Shannon saying kick her... pull back on the reins!!! But now she was just laughing!! Goodness gracious. Some people. Once she finally got to the door of the pen she started settling down a little. Shannon and Jen came over and were like, " I can't believe you actually stayed on!!! It was actually pretty funny, you looked a little scared." Well, ya think?!? Shesh... Shannon said she was proud of me for hanging on but said I needed to hold on with my legs more than hanging on to the mane. All well... We've decided to do this more often so we can get a little better. I don't think I will be riding Sassy until I get a little better though. =) lol It was actual really fun, but I was scared just because I wasn't sure what she was going to do. When she went around the corners of the stall, it was even harder to hang on, and when she stopped right away, I thought I was going to fall off, cause she almost reared a little. It was exciting to say the least though.

I'm just about to go babysit Ansley and MaKenia today. I am so excited. Mrs. Rebecca Smith should be having her third baby pretty soon. =0) She doesn't know if its a boy or a girl, but I think they are hoping it will be a boy. Especially Mr. Smith.

Well, I hope every one's Monday isn't going too badly... Have a good day...

2007-03-03T15:03:00.000-09:00

Today was really, really cold. I don't know if it was just that I never really noticed it as much until today or what, but it just seemed so much colder today. My fingers are so cold from being outside, it's a little hard to type. =0) All well.

Yesterday night Dad brought home a lot of movies. One of them was Flags of Our Fathers. I couldn't tell you if it was a good movie or not, because I was so tired I couldn't finish watching the rest of it. It seemed like a really good movie though. It was silent in a lot of parts though... so those of you who don't have a TV guardian... it might not be too good.

This morning we just lazied around... then about noonish we all (the fam) went and help out on the parsonage. We repainted the floor, and it looks so much better. =0) I think we are going to clean around here, a little and then head off to Uncle Mike's house. It is this really cool thing that we started. All of the kids and a lot of times the parents will come too. We just meet at someones house one Saturday out of the month, and have a bible study, dinner, and play some games.

Then we figure out what we are going to do for a "fun day" like go ice skating, or to go play laser tag, and so on. I think it a really neat thing. We have more time to fellowship and just have good fun.

Well... I posted... happy now? lol Just teasing. =0) I told you all though... it's either boring or bad... lol That's not the best attitude I know... especially since my blog is called "It's a good life" lol. Which it is, don't get me wrong... I guess I am just not cut out for keeping any sort of a blog,,, maybe that's why I could never keep a diary. Always been a reader, never a writer. lol *SIGH* ALL well...

Have a marvelous day... ;-D
Pray for warmer, sunnier, summerier days...
Emily

SuNdAy MoRnIn'

2007-02-18T16:30:00.000-09:00

Sorry Kriss... I have been TRYING... I realized just today that I hadn't posted for a couple days. =0) Forgive me. lol
I am just sitting here with Jenny, Michelle's sister. =) Church was good this morning. It was about Life and Godliness. It really opened my eyes to some things. My Uncle Mike brought the message. I wish I could post the whole message on here... but it would take too long. =0)
Well... I had to post right quick, but Jen is waiting to do something with me, and I feel bad.
I hope you all had a great Sunday morning... and have a great night.
I'm missing you all already. =0(
Praying always,
Emily

P.S. Thank you for taking me snowboarding!!! That was so much fun... I am SOOO sore. lol

Well, it's Thurday! ;)

2007-02-15T16:25:00.000-09:00

I read this thing from Charles Spurgeon today, and I can't remember exactly what it said, but it said something like... oh forget it, hold on. Okay, I'm back... with the book. It says, "If we live, Jesus is will be with us; if we die, we shall be with Jesus." I read that and thought it was the coolest thing ever. The whole thing was about living for Jesus and not being afraid to die for him either. The ending paragraph says, "The truest lengthening of life is to live while we live, wasting no time, but using every hour for the highest ends. So be it this day." The ending sentence was what really got me. I have a tendency to read things and think about them for the next 10 minutes to and hour or 2 max, but it said simply and plainly "So be it this day". Just do it... in our words today. =0) Anyways I thought that was pretty cool, thought I would share it.
"The fear of the Lord prolongeth days; but the years of the wicked shall be shortened." ~Proverbs 10:27

This morning, I went to babysit for Mrs. Smith. Ansley and MaKenna are getting so big. I was over at their house for the morning. Once I got back I actually felt like doing my chores... I would have done them anyways, but not dreading it always helps. =) Life seems to be going by so quickly. Today it was so warm and sunny. Summer is really coming. I always look forward to summer... but I am not sure if I want things to get any more busy than they already are. School is getting done... but once I get done with it, along with chores, and helping with dinner, and going to town almost every other day, it seems like I don't have anytime anymore. God has definetly been giving me strength, and peace throughout the last couple of weeks.

A couple days ago, my mom and I turned in the paperwork for Hutch. I am hoping to take some nursing classes there this next year. What is so cool about them, is that they will count for my high school credits as well as my college credits. I am excited. I really have a peace about this. My parents are very happy with the idea, and are pushing me to do all that I can to make this work. I have a really good letter of recommendation from La Nae Bellamy. She works at the hospital and we get along really well. She is a really sweet lady. Her letter was above and way beyond what I was expecting. That should help a great deal. I have a slimmer chance of getting into the school, because I will just be going for particular classes, and not full time. But I also know a few people that work there, and they will help with getting me into the school. If it works out, I know God was in it, and if it doesn't it was His will. I am not at all worried.

I wrote this whole other paragraph... but then I decided it sounded way to depressing... and I didn't even mean for it too! So I just backspaced it all and am writing another one... or ending today's writing... umm... can someone tell me how to delete comments?? I don't know who that person is that wrote on my last post... and half the time I was reading, I couldn't understand what he was saying... for further notice... if I don't know you... then there's probably a reason. So don't comment. Thank you.

AlWaYs,
Emily

Just here with Krista

2007-02-14T16:54:00.000-09:00

Well... I am alive and living... (Rebeka) lol... Kriss is sitting here with me in her house that smells like Pumpkin... mmm... Krista, say hi... "HHHIII!!!!!" Okay... now that thats done. Well, Happy Valentines! Things have been good, just really busy. Okay I am making a promise to TRY to post everyday. Kriss says to loose the "try" but I don't want to break my promise. =0)
Emily had to leave so I'm finishing this up for her...... I'm hopeing i'll motivate her to post more often.... oh and if your wondering why the house smells like pumkin it's because Aimee and deanna were making pumkin bread!! =o) And just so you all know Emily has promised to be my Valentine so don't even think about stealing her!!! HEHEHEE!!! =o) Have a good night Emily!!!

Thoughts of Emily's, lately... lol =0) with help of sissy... =0)

2006-12-19T12:15:00.000-09:00

I was really bummed... I was trying to put some pictures on here of the Learning Center... but it wasn't working for some reason... I tried it a couple times, and I think it's just because my computer is too slow or something. =( I need to get Mom to get the high speed Internet from IDEA. Things have been pretty good lately. I guess it all depends on how you look at it. Last year I remember that I was complaining because I said it didn't really feel like Christmas. I wish I could just go back and smack myself... seriously. I had nothing to complain about, I had so many blessings. Friends, and family... people who were really close to me. I guess it's hard to explain all of what I had last year, that I don't have this year... but I know one thing for sure. I am not going to complain. I have blessings everyday, that I am realizing that I take for granted all the time. I seem to always look at what going wrong and try to fix it, by the end of it I am worn out, tired and emotional. Because it's usually not in my hands to change. If I have learned anything over the last two weeks, it's been... Life changes. You can't stop that. I might hate it, and cry about it, and wish with all my heart that things would go back to the way the were. It won't change anything. It doesn't help anyone. It makes the people around you feel bad for you, instead of you encouraging them and lifting them up. I am just starting to see how self-centered I have been. I would look at others, and see their selfishness... but why is it you can never see your own? Selfishness always starts with me simply skipping reading my bible... and little things like that. Then all the little things add up and you end up being so unhappy because you aren't doing what you as a Christian should be doing... Okay that's my serious thinking for the day. lol

Well, Kyle's little sister Sierra, is up here for Christmas... we have been having a blast. I love that little girl, she is so awesome. We stayed up last night until 3ish just talking, and goofing off, watching movies, and all sorts of random things. It was a blast. She is my little darling... and always will be. She is always making me want to do better, because I realize I am an example to her. What I do, what I say, and how I act effect her. Actually, I have been realizing that I have effected other people and haven't even known that I had... Thankfully in a good way... but it just makes you think. It's really scary actually some times.

As for Christmas shopping... I am so behind... I am still making a few gifts, and I still need to get a few things for immediate family. I try not to get all stressed out about it though, because it will ruin Christmas for you if you do.

Well, people... I haven't been posting lately, so I know I am no one to talk... but you all have got to start posting!! I miss reading about you all. =0) Even if it's just a little "I had a good day" Come on now... I know you all can do better!! lol
Alrighty, I LoOoOoOoOve you all!
Have the greatest, happiest, fantabulousiest, fatastictist, terrificest, wonderfuliest, supercalifrajilisticexpealadociousist day EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol :P (I did that with the help of Sissy =)

~Emily =0)

What I'm Thankful For... =)

2006-11-24T19:15:00.000-09:00

1. I'm thankful for the God of the universe... coming do to earth, dying on the cross, and saving me from everlasting death. I'm thankful for the Lord, that has been with me through everything. The God who has given me wisdom, love, and a whole lot of undeserved mercy.

2. I am thankful for my brother, Brian... my Grandma... my parents and family. The have affected my life in more ways than they will ever know... I love them.

3. I'm especially thankful for my really close friends, who have been there for me through really good times and times when it's really hard. Lanae'. Tori. Kassandra. Kyle. (that's not in any kind of order! =) I love you guys...

4. I am thankful for good times... times when you wish that those moments would last forever... but you know that they will have to end. I'm thankful for those moments... when you know exactly what another person is thinking... and you just give a person a look... and you know that they understand without saying word. I'm thankful for those moments that you are laughing so hard your stomach hurts... and the moments that you remember the next week, and it keeps you smiling all day.

5. I am thankful for all the times that I was falling apart and someone just took me in their arms ans held me until I stopped crying. No matter how long it took.

6. I am thankful for all my friends... the ones I'm just starting to get close to, the ones that I've known from a distance, the ones that always seem to cheer me up, give me advice, and tell it to me straight.

7. I am thankful for creation... the beautiful snowy mountains, hot summer days, rain, fields, clouds...

8. I'm very thankful for all the little kids at the learning center... especially A.J., and Reagen. That little girl, and that silly boy... they could be my own kids... =)

9. I'm thankful for snowboarding... sports. =)

10. I'm thankful for babies...

11. I'm thankful for prayer... the prayers that God has closed the door on... and I'm thankful for the ones I'm still waiting on.

12. I'm thankful for God's awesome timing.

Just another day...

2006-11-21T08:43:00.000-09:00

This morning everyone is feeling rather lazy and hasn't gotten up yet. =) We has a little bit of a late night. You know what??? ITS REALLY COLD OUT SIDE!!!!! I'm starting to really want to be inside at all times. lol :) Hot cocoa has become my new best friend... with a little coffee of course. In fact that sounds real good right now... Okay, I'm back. =) With a really good cup of hot chocolate. =) I'm really excited about Christmas... I have already got things pick out for people. I usually am not really ready for the Holidays... but this year... I am definitely ready. I'm really excited about Thanksgiving... it's about the only time of the year I would ever even consider being happy about making 10 pies. lol I am going to be really busy the next few days. A few of us will go up to my Grandmas and help her with the cooking and cleaning and getting ready for it, and a few of us will stay here and help my mom with cooking. It's I guess a tradition for my mom to always bring the rolls and most all of the pies. She wants me to help her... I think as long as Jenni's and maybe Deanna is up at Grandma's we'll be okay. Oh... and that's the other thing... Deanna is sick... she threw up about 4 times yesterday. It was nasty... I had to clean it all up... yuck. It was gross... Brian went moping around the whole day saying something like he has a couple really good meals to go to, and he would be really mad if he got sick and had to throw it all up. I was just laughing at him... I didn't even really think about it. That would be a bummer though. It was hilarious though... it's so funny what Brian will do just to not get sick.
Today Deanna has violin and we are to help clean Mrs.. Crawford's house with my Aunt Cindy. Mrs.. Crawford just had something done to her leg or foot... I don't exactly know what it was, but she can't get around to well. She has to get the other other done as well. After that I'm going to see if mom will take me to Barnes and Nobles while Deanna is having her lesson. I love that store...
Okay... I'm going to need you all to tell me what you want for Christmas... I mean it... k? lol Or else... you are going to get some random doohickey... lol I am not a very good guesser of what people want. So you all have to let me know... =) Give a christmas list... =)

Have an absolutely lovely day...
Emily

2006-11-19T22:28:00.000-09:00

Life is crazy... and really busy... and sometimes fun... yep. That's what I have learned this week. Marvelous, right? lolI am trying to post more... but I hardly seem to have time and when I do post, it's hard to think about what all has happened lately... Well... just my luck... parents are being thoughful again. They know I need my sleep, and are so worried, that they make sure... that I get it. I have wonderful parents... really... lol just kidding. My parents love me... and they love it when I am alive in the morning also. Okay, okay. I have to go now. lol
I know the weirdest post in the world I didn't even say anything about what's been going on. lol =)All well.

Emily

FIRST SNOWBOARDING DAY THIS YEAR!!!! =D =0) = ) :-)

2006-11-08T23:31:00.000-09:00

I AM SOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO GO SNOWBOARDING!!!!!!! ONLY 3 DAYS!!!!!!!!!! YES!!! I just hope it's not too cold! :( But it will be okay... I know it will! CAUSE IT'S THE FIRST DAY WE GET TO GO SNOWBOARDING!!! YES!!! lol... I know... I know... I'm a spaz... =D I can't wait... I wish Moose was open, though. It's wayyyyy more fun. All well. It doesn't matter... cause Saturday is only 3 days away!!! Okay... I'll stop. =) I love being on the hills... they are amazing... Moose esspecially... but birch will have to do for now. =) I can't stop smiling... can you tell?=) lol =D I can just go up there and forget about all my problems... execpt for the one... the problem of falling down... lol! I hope I don't do that too much. =) Man, I am so excited!
Tommorow, I am going to the Hospital to volunteer again... I like doing it a lot, but I am kinda glad I am only doing it for this semester. I am getting a little behind on other things. =) It's only worth 1/2 a credit too. ;)
My brother is over on the couch, watching tv :P ... and everyone else is in bed. I guess I should get there soon too. I have to wake up early...
Well... there's nothing much more to talk about... either that, or I just really don't feel like talking about them right now... lol I am so tired...
You can tell I'm tired, when I start to laugh at things that really aren't that funny... but then I start laughing even harder... yeah... it's not pretty... lol Brian would know... very well... lol =D hehe...
Okay... I really am going....
I love you all...
emily

2006-11-03T21:07:00.000-09:00

Today was purty good, is guess. I was a mess yesterday night... for a few different reasons... but I put it in God's hands and I know He will take care of it all. The hard part is just waiting... but He will make things right. I know that. I did a whole lot of school... and cleaned the house all up today. =) I don't feel very talkative... extremely weird I know. I guess it's just because I've been thinkin about so much lately... and I kind of clam up when things go wrong... and i just think about stuff and get pretty quiet. Anyways... a certain person wanted me to blog more, so I am trying... =) My family is watching a movie right now and everyone seem to be quite entertained. lol =) I'm real tired. I think I'm either going to have to get some coffee or go to bed before I fall asleep on the way there. I am sooo tired. I wasn't all that busy today either... anyhoo... you all have a good night. I love ya.
~*me*em*~

God Is So Great

2006-10-29T21:19:00.001-09:00

God is so great. He always gives you just what you need everyday. Whether you are far away from Him, or close by His side. Every single day, He gives you tests, trials, blessings, love, encouragement, or whatever He knows that is exactly what you need. We don't notice it, but each and everyday He does this for us. He is always right there. Ready to listen to all of our promblems... but before I start complaining, what I really need to do is just be quiet and listen. Listen for that still small voice answering all my questions even before I ask. The voice inside that tells me exactly what is wrong... even before I realize it. Have you ever just felt miserable, and you know it's because you haven't been reading your bible lately or something like that. So you go upstairs, hit your knees and ask forgiveness... and then finish your prayer. But 5 minutes later, you still know something is wrong. So you go back upstairs into your bedroom, and you get of your knees. You try to think of what else you need to ask forgiveness for... but I've found if you just let Christ speak... you actually get somewhere. Just listen... and wait... let Him do the speaking... and He will be sure to tell you right where you messed up again. You know why? Because he knows each and every sin that mad Him hurt a little more, each sin that made Him bleed a little more, each sin that Him die. Time after time He comtinues to forgive us though. That's what so wonderful. I remember, right after I was saved, "Just As I Am" became my favorite song. I would play it on the piano, and I remember just crying before I had gotten through the first verse. I felt so unworthy, so sinful, so miserable. Taking all my horrible sins to Jesus to take care of. I remember thinking, He must get so tired of carrying everyone's burdens, and the burdens just kept growing, and growing. Well, yeah... that's pretty much what I've been thinking about all day. I wish I would learn to cry again, when I sing this song.

Just as I am, without one plea
But that thy blood was shed for me,
And that Thou bidd'st me come to Thee,
O Lamb Of God, I come! I come!

Well, I hope you all had a great day... and I hope you will have a great night...
I love you all...
~*me*em*~

2006-10-23T10:50:00.000-08:00

Hey you all... how was your weekend? I was really happy to see everyone. I didn't have a chance to really talk to anyone but it was still really good to see you all. I miss you guys. Oh by the way Rebeka, I meant to talk to you after the hockey game and say "hi". It was really cool to see you there. =) How long are you up here? Anyways, I don't have long but I thought I'd something right quick. Please pray for my mom and Grandpa. I thought that they were getting in last night but I guess they are getting in tonight. Grandpa is getting worse and worse. Right now he thinks my mom is his wife... yeah... my Mom is pretty weirded out, to say the least. It was evendently qwite a long trip and my Mom is probably ready for a break. Well, I have lots of school to do, so i better go. Love you all... Oh by the way, Lanae'... I'm really sorry we couldn't make it on friday night. I was completly bummed that you were actually going and I wasn't there. :( Maybe another time.
Have a great day guys!
emily

2006-10-17T11:20:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness!! I am so excited this morning! I have absolutly no idea why!!!! lol I feel like going to another hockey game... hehe. The first one I went too, about two weeks ago... was a an Ice Dogs Hockey game... which, nobody bothered telling me! So when I screamed out "Go Nanooks!!''...... I put all fault on my dear brother. hehe ;) At least I realized by all these strage looks, something was wrong... and then went right along happily screaming for the Ice Dogs. I was hyper I didn't even care. Anyways... I really want to go to another hockey game... they are so much fun. Although, I think next time I'll keep my yelling to a minimal, so I don't get a huge headache by the 3rd............. part... (whatever it's called... i forgot... ;) and so I can actually sing in church the next morning.

Well, I really don't have much to write about. I miss the church a lot... all the people... I pray for you guys all the time. I hope everyone is doing good. If you guys ever want to send me an email, feel free. I miss you guys, and would love to hear from each of you. Hope you have a great day! Love and Miss you all,
Emily

snowboarding_angel07@hotmail.com

2006-10-16T09:50:00.000-08:00

Well people... I know it's been forever since I've gotten on here... weeelllll at least it feels like that. I've had all sorts of crazy random things happen to me lately. It would take waaaaay too long to explain all of them though. Oh by the way... how was Aaron at the pinic? He promised he would be strong, but I had this suspicious feeling he really didn't keep himself together, and that he was just saying that. =) hehe. I got to see him and Dawson working out at my friend Paula's house. (She worked with me in the green house all summer.) She asked me to come help her with cleaning up all the random wires, boards and all thatgood stuff... oh... and I can't forget the dust... oh yes... we had QUITE the little cloud going on down in the basement. Rich (Paula's husband) offered some masks, but that was after we had gotten the big part of it. Aaron was really wanting to use one but... unfortunatly... he was to embarrased to ask, and... well, honestly, I think he just didn't want to look retarded ; ) just teasing. :) Aaron, if I'm leaving any good stuff out you'll have to remind me.
I had this terrible cold the next morning though! I was feeling horrible. I don't think it was because of working at their house, although the dust might have irratated it, but my dad had this bad cold earlier. That's who I'm blaming. Well, he actually gave it to my mom first, so maybe I should blame the both of them. =) It was worse on Saturday, and Sunday I was all excited cause it was getting better, and then today, I have this really bad cough. Over all, I think it's on the up and up scales, but you never know. :)
My mom and Grandpa left last night to go to Colarado for a week. I don't know if you all heard or not, but my great Grandma passed away. she definatly lived a long life. She was 100, and would have been 101 on December 27th. I remember her fairly well, I guess. I remember when I was 3 I went on my first airplane ride ever, to Colarado. Dad tolded me to take the gum of of my mouth, cause I was about to fall asleep and he didn't want me to choke on it. I remember sitting on a cactus... yeah a cactus... not fun, I'll tell you what, it hurt sooo bad I can still feel the pain. =) We were playing hide and seek, and I followed Jenni behind this "big bush"... (yeah, later I definately learned the definition for cactus) well, now...she sat on the ground behind it... being the little smart one she is... and right next to her I remember seeing this little round green thing, that looked like a bar stool seat. So I gladly was about to take the seat, wondering why Jen was nice enough to sit on the ground to let me have it. ha.. ha.. ha.. I've learned a very important lesson that day, that I keep in mind even now. If my sister is EVER that nice to me again... RUN, HIDE, AND NEVER COME BACK... EVER!!!!! ........ Anyways... the rest was history... I sat down started crying, Jen got mad at me because I had given away our hiding place... there's jen for ya... and yeah... fun times, right? lol
I remember eating dinner with my great Grandma and her laughing about me sitting on the cactus... which at the time in my little 3-year-old mind i thought was pretty cruel, but I got over it. ;) I remember great Grandma coming up here for a little while. We all went over to my Uncle Dan's, I was about 6 or 7, and I remember going out behind their house, and finding a whole bunch of raspberries for her. Those memories are all I have of her. I guess I always imagined seeing her one last time before she died. She was really a great person, I even as a little girl can remember that. It was pretty hard on my mom. My mom's mom died when my mom was just a baby. Her Grandma practically raised her, and they have always been close. I am really glad that Grandpa and my mom went to go see her last Christmas. Well, anyways, they should be back in a week, and I am left here to run the household... scary... =) Dad and Jen are going to be working every day, and Brian will be here some of the time, he's working a little this week too. I have to plan five meals... and make them. I sound pitiful, huh? I know how to make meals, but I have just never done the whole thing by myself before. Mom tells me to start dinner, not finish it alone! She was in a hurry too, and didn't give me any instrutions, pointers, advise, nothing... not even a drill on "what to do in case of a fire"... lol oh I hope it's not that bad!! I really have no clue what to do. I'm thinking easy meals... like mac and cheese, spagetti,... and that's...pathetic as it is, isreally as far as I've gotten. Oh boy... I really need to start cooking more. I can bake about anything... but cook a meal... that's a little different. So if you can give me some ideas, or you could just pray that I don't set the house on fire or kill the dogs with burnt leftovers... hehe =)
Oh my stars!! Look at how long this is! Wow... I guess that's what you get, after me not getting on here so long. The IDEA internet wasn't working or something... it took a while to finally get it fixed.
Well... I really do love you all. I miss you guys a whole, whole, whole, lot. ;) leave me comments... I'll be on more often now! I promise!

Always here... no matter what.
~*me*em*~

2006-10-05T19:08:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone... hows it going... im good... well... all things considering... i miss everyone... thanks for all the comments... each one of them brightens my day... and makes me do this: =D see? hehe... I don't have much time to write but I just wanted to let everyone know, although this is hard, i still need to have a good attitude about it, and you all have helped. Your prayers, your thoughts, and comments. ;) I had a really quick but awesome talk with Laurie. She is so sweet, and she took the time to make sure, I kept doing what I needed to do, no matter what my circumstances. Thank you Laurie, it really meant a lot, you have always been like a second mom to me.
Today I went to the hospital and did my volunteer work. I really love voluteering. I get a chance to help people, I'm learning a lot, and the people I work with are really awesome. I am doing mostly secretarial work now, but I really hope to start working in the learning center, watching the little kids. It was so cute today... When I was in people resource with everyone, 3 little girls about 4 and 5, and they were all dressed up like little princesses. One was in a Snow White outfit, one in a Sleeping Beauty outfit, and one in a Cinderella outfit. I have never seen cuter little girls in my life. The one in the Sleeping Beauty out fit came up and smiled really big at me and ran off laughing. It was really cute. She had these big bright green eyes, and white/blonde hair. She was such a little darling. Anyways, I hope to be over there... someday... :0) (or maybe a whole lot sooner than that... with a Wells Fargo Checking account you can start saving BIG today!) lol ; )
This weekend we are going to do some yard clean up, and put away some things, hopefully before it snows.
Well i have to end for now. Have a great day, ya'll! ~emily

Trusting, praying, hoping, and trying to give God glory whatever may come.

2006-10-01T12:28:00.000-08:00

I don't really know what to say. I did a lot of reading my this morning. These are some verses I randomly came upon that really God showed me, and gave to me. If you were wondering about me, this is where I am at. Trusting, praying, hoping, and trying to give God glory whatever may come.

My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?
I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?
As with a sword in my bone, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?
Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of of my countenance, and my God.
~Psalms 42: 3, 9-11

Fear not; I am the first and the last:I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and death.
~Revelations 1: 18-19

Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and present you faultless before the presence of of his glory with exceeding joy. To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. Amen.
~Jude 24-25

The Sponge... =o)

2006-09-30T20:34:00.000-08:00

I tolded this to Tori, once and i thought i would tell all of my brother's and sister's in Christ this too... cause it's true. = o)
If there is anything you want to spill...know that i am the sponge that will soak it all up and then squeeze out all the problems down the drain.... nice example right? lol And KNOW that i LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!!!!!! You are a great friend, you always have been... and i love you for it, and i love you for just being you, and nobody else but yourself... you always know how to cheer me up, or break my heart when i need it. You make me think twice about things, and have often kept me from a lot of trouble.=D
You all... i love you. Thx 4 being there, and have an awsome day... always here, Emily

Yet Another Saturday... :) ;o) 8) with lots of smiles from emily... :D =D =o)

2006-09-30T19:40:00.000-08:00

Hey guys... I have a question. There's this guy at Bager Gas (I think he said his name is Don), and my family and I are always going in there. Especially Brian and I throughout the summer. Each time we go in there he's always like "hey, how's it going?" Just being friendly, and Brian and I always answer and talk to him a little. Well, I have seen him there all through the summer... And I felt like it was an opportunity to witness to this guy. The other night I was in there with my little sisters, and I invited him to church and he said he would come, but he used to go to a catholic church. Was that a bad thing do you think? I don't want him to get the wrong idea though. I just want him to be saved. I really felt burdened about it, but I really want to be careful... If he does come to church tomorrow, I want to get Brian and Kyle to talk to him... And Jordan... I know you said earlier "you weren't really that kind of person" but I think it would be really good if you talked to him to. That way he has someone else to talk to besides me. I hope he does come though. Pray for him guys...
Well, today was a pretty laid back day. I helped mom make a big Saturday breakfast, Jen and Brian went to work. I did my chores, read half of a book, watched a movie... I need to read my bible... I just thought of that. Anyways it was A-OK... I was kind of excited about going to my cuz's football game ( Justin's) . But I heard they couldn't get the field today so it's tomorrow at 2:30 or something... I hope I can go. It's the Championship... I love watching his football games... It's so much fun. ;)
My Daddy is playing his guitar... He has some new really pretty songs... Listening to him play the guitar always makes my happy. :D I don't know why, but it does. I told him when he died I wanted his guitar to remember him by... hehe... He was a little shocked at first and the just started laughing. It was funny... But I really do want it. ;)
I am so excited about the snow!!!! Even though I keep hearing it's going to go away... im still happy... Its my promise that snowboarding season IS coming... THERE IS HOPE!!!! lol Well, I guess that's it for now... Post comments.... I want to hear from ya'll. ~emily

Today... is another good day... =D

2006-09-28T07:59:00.001-08:00

Well... it's about 8 and i have to take Seth up to the bus stop... which is right up the hill. He has been coming here almost every morning since both Jeremy and Kyle are working now. Don (Mr. Bell) drops him off pretty early... so Seth sacks out on our couch. ;) Actually this morning my Dad called in sick, and he's not feeling very well... he took over the couch and tv. Seth was quite... disapointed he said. lol He's a crazy kid. Right now he keeps trying to mess up my typing!! He says he's succeeding... i think not! lol I better get this kid something to eat, and then we'll leave for the bus stop.

Yesterday after I took him up there, and after the bus came i went right accross the road to the gravel hill... i love that place. its a good place to read your bible. i love the veiw that's up there... i am sure there are prettier places... but i like my country veiw up here the best. ;) Hold on Seth wants to type something... oh boy... :D

hihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi hahahahah i said hi hahaha hello whoever reads this i was succeeding in messing up the typing i mean shes getting a drink whyll im sitting here typing an- oh here she comes make your self scarce!! scatter haha i escaped peace out my nachos FROM SETH

Oh boy... i told you so! He's a little wacky, but i love him anyways! :0) I was his babysitter for two years.... and we are good friends... He is turning 11 next June... he wanted to tell ya'll that. Well, I hope everyone's having a good day... I am really wanting to go snowboarding... seth says tommorow brings snow... (hehehe!) Sorry Tori! =D love always, ~emily*kae~ peace out my shes back again runnnnnnn ok peace out my nachos SETH

Twitterpated

2006-09-26T19:55:00.000-08:00

Okay guys, I did it. I did the unthinkable… are you ready for this? Are you sure you’re ready for this? Okay… you asked for it… lol I watched “Bambi”. That’s right… you heard me… “Bambi”. Oh my goodness! It was so funny. Besides making all the hunters look like horrible beings, and it having some boring and corny parts… It was actually entertaining. Well, I came home from work, and nobody was at the house. My mom went to town with the little kids and Grandpa, and Dad, Jen, and Brian were still in town working. I walked upstairs, and I happened to see Bambi on the coffee table. The girls must have borrowed it from Seth, I thought. I haven’t watched that movie since I was 6. I remember it perfectly too. It was Jen, Brian, and I… I remember trying to act like I wasn’t crying, to try to be tough like Brain and Jenni. Oh wow… that was actually quite hilarious, cause I found out later that Jenni was crying too. Brian… I don’t know… but I have my suspicions. (hehehe) Anyways… I don’t know if ya’ll have watched that lately… (probably not, but you know just in case) but there’s this part in it that I was laughing so hard I could have cried! It is soooo funny! That is… being twitterpated. Lol Don’t know what that means? Let me explain…
Twitterpated. =)
“Why what’s the matter with them?” asked Thumper.
“Why don’t you know?” said Owl. “They’re twitterpated.”
“Twitterpated?” asked Bambi, Flower, and Thumper.
“Why yes, nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the spring time.
For example, your walking along minding your own business, you look neither to the left nor to the right. Then all the SUDDEN, you walk smack into a pretty face! WHOO-OOO! You begin to feel weak in the knees… your head’s in a whirl!!! And then you feel light as a feather, and before you know it you’re walking on air. And then you know what?! Your knocked for a loop! And you completely lose your head!
“Goodness, that’s awful,” said Thumper.
“Gee whiz!” said Flower.
“Terrible!” said Bambi.
AND THAT AINT ALL. It can happen to anybody… so you better be careful! It can happen to you! And you! And… (yes, you reading this!) It could even happen to YOU!"

Now that I have you all scared to death that your going to get twitterpated… lol I hope you had fun reading this. I thought it was quite hilarious… so I shared… hehehe love you all, have a good night (or day, whenever you read this!)…. Oh and….be careful…. ~*me*em*~ 8)

bible verses...

2006-09-26T12:07:00.000-08:00

I am real bored. I need to sleep. I can't fall asleep though. I keep thinking about things. Then I read my bible for a little while. I read a couple verses that really hit home with me. Don't you love it when you read the bible and all the sudden the Lord hands you a verse, and says this is for you? You just feel so thankful to have such a great God.

Isaiah 43:1-3a, 5a
"But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee, by thy name; thou art mine.
When thou passeth through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour:
Fear not: for I am with thee:"
Pray, read, and stay close to God, you guys. I love you all. ~emily

Just Another Day...8)

2006-09-25T17:24:00.000-08:00

wow i love this thing! It's so much fun... hehe... my brother called me a "computer nerd". lol i just laughed. im not a "computer nerd" i just love this thing. okay, i have never seen so much green... ever! its the end of the season, so we are picking all the green tomatoes. This week is the last week of the season. Which i am actually very thankful for! Now i can start babysitting my little girls again...!!! im so excited, these kids ware you out in 10 minutes, but i wouldn't have it any other way. they are so much fun. Ansley is turning 3 this year and her white/blonde hair is getting so long and pretty. McKenna is turning 1, and she's still real sweet. Soon she'll start getting like her big sis, Ansley... oh boy, 1 is okay... but 2! oh boy. lol Im just glad im going to start again. Well, better go, i have lots of school, chores, and trying to keep my little sisters under control... wait... that will never happen so, ill just try keeping them happy and doing what Mom said. oh the joy! but i try to be thankful for these kind of things... its what makes life exciting, its what makes life, a good one. ~emily

thinking deeply... praying hard

2006-09-24T21:27:00.000-08:00

Okay, i finally have a blog, thanks to tori... thank you, tori!!! ;) this might be a bad thing, that i get addicted to. lol Well we just got home from church... dad and mom went to drop off Kyle at his house. Pray for us... pray for my dad... i don't always agree with him, or the way he thinks, but i will follow him and obey him like i know i should. so please pray! we will need it. i am reading my bible more than i ever have in my life... thats why God gives us trials though... to grow closer to Him. i am just so glad i don't have to worry about this, God's got it under control. He always has and always will.
Yah know what?! i really, really, really want to go snowboarding right now... really. lol i can't wait to be up on that hill, breathing the cold fresh air... looking at the beautiful mountains, listening to the best sound in the world... (the voices of my friends... the only thing that keeps me sane!) and just letting my mind forget all about my current problems... ahhh... yep, that's my paradise. i can just remember so many times last year, where everything would be out of order, things completely falling apart, where all i wanted was a break... even if it was for five minutes... and kyle would say to me.. "just think... in a couple of days you'll be up on that mountain." i dont know what it is with mountains, fields, or clouds... but something about them, cheer me up when everything is pulling me down. God knew i needed them so He made 'em. well.. gotta go for now... parents just got back... i love you all. have an awesome day...
~emily~

i love this picture...

2006-09-23T14:43:00.000-08:00

Me, Brian, and Jenni... =) I love this picture... although the sun was kinda in our eyes, it's still good. my brother is... well hes just brian... i love him to death. he is one of the most important people in my life. without him, i wouldn't be me. ;)

2006-09-23T14:06:00.000-08:00

this is a blog for Emily.... =)
I love her dearly, she might as well be my sis. :-)
I guess I'll leave the rest of the posting up to her.
:0)
Tori